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my Dad.

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WI Dan
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Joined: 25 Jul 2013
Posts: 992
Location: South Central Wisconsin

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PostPosted: Thu Jan 18, 2018 3:21 pm    Post subject: Re: my Dad. Reply to specific post Reply with quote

...can't imagine my mom...passing...
She's in pretty good health, so I don't have to think about that for a while!
 
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WI Dan
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Joined: 25 Jul 2013
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Location: South Central Wisconsin

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PostPosted: Thu Jan 18, 2018 3:21 pm    Post subject: Re: my Dad. Reply to specific post Reply with quote

I'm sorry for your loss.
I hope you and your sibling(s) are well.
 
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WI Dan
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Joined: 25 Jul 2013
Posts: 992
Location: South Central Wisconsin

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PostPosted: Thu Jan 18, 2018 3:21 pm    Post subject: Re: my Dad. Reply to specific post Reply with quote

This is a "Mass Thanks" for these responses. Dopp Creek, pcsaw, Mike M, David G, John T, Bobl1958, old popper.
I'm reading them all, even a second time. Thank you for your support.
 
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44 massey
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PostPosted: Thu Jan 18, 2018 3:40 pm    Post subject: Re: my Dad. Reply to specific post Reply with quote

My father passed away in 2012 and the void is still there like it was yesterday!!! Lost my father and best friend that day!!!!
 
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larry@stinescorner
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PostPosted: Thu Jan 18, 2018 3:59 pm    Post subject: Re: my Dad. Reply to specific post Reply with quote

So sorry to hear this..There is no right or wrong way ,everyone handles the pain differently,,our
best wishes to him and your entire family
 
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L.C.
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PostPosted: Thu Jan 18, 2018 4:06 pm    Post subject: Re: my Dad. Reply to specific post Reply with quote

There's lots of wisdom below. I agree, if you can, capture a conversation. If you have a favorite story and he feels up to telling it, see if he'll tell it.

You have an opportunity to ask questions, even if they seem trivial.

Not really sure what else to say.

May God's peace and grace be with you and your family during these days.
 
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snoopnc
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PostPosted: Thu Jan 18, 2018 4:20 pm    Post subject: Re: my Dad. Reply to specific post Reply with quote

Dan ... it sounds like you've had a very good and close (mutual) relationship with your Dad. Take comfort in that. When my Dad passed nearly 25 years ago, I did not feel the loss by crying, etc. I was with him and held his hand as he made that transition ... our relationship had been built on love and respect and the thought I had at that time was: "I love you, Dad ... and I'll see you later". I knew then that he was at peace and that his earthly ills were over. It was a good day.

FWIW ... Dad and I were with Mom when she passed away in 1984. I felt somewhat the same as you do now, but that was a growing up lesson for me and prepared me for when Dad passed away 10 years later.

Its certainly OK to cry, and also OK to NOT cry, too. Be Blessed.

Rick
 
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retired farmer
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PostPosted: Thu Jan 18, 2018 4:22 pm    Post subject: Re: my Dad. Reply to specific post Reply with quote

I guess I would have to tell you that if you can get away again, go back and see him at least one more time to visit. Everyone grieves in their own way. I wasn't close to my parents so can't help much. May the Lord be with you all in your time of need.
 
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farmerwithmutt
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Joined: 21 Sep 2013
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Location: sw wisc

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PostPosted: Thu Jan 18, 2018 4:27 pm    Post subject: Re: my Dad. Reply to specific post Reply with quote

I was in a similar situation a woman i knew
was dying of cancer and she was worried who
would take care of her husband and i wrote a
letter to her saying i would take care of
him and he lived with me till he passed
away.But till the day she died she never
once said one word on what was going to
happen because she knew i would do
everything i could and more to keep my word.
The thing to think of now is soon your dads
suffering will be over and he will be in a
better place however if he is an old farmer
the most important thing to him at this
moment is who is going to take care of the
most precious thing in his life his wife and
chidren and in doing that you can feel at
peace. Talk to a minister, priest or
whatever you so choose that will help.
I remember when my mom died the big them
with them was the rosary i got hold of one
and started it and my dad was at peace .
Take care
 
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Philip d
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PostPosted: Thu Jan 18, 2018 4:36 pm    Post subject: Re: my Dad. Reply to specific post Reply with quote

It sounds like your doing all you can,there's no right
or wrong way to handle the loss of a loved one.
We're all different and handle grief in our own way.
 
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GlenIdaho
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PostPosted: Thu Jan 18, 2018 5:32 pm    Post subject: Re: my Dad. Reply to specific post Reply with quote

Hi Dan, I am so sorry to hear about you Dad. If I can offer anything it is to enjoy the time you have with him and fill your mind with the memories. I, as all, have lost someone(s) close to include parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, nephew,friends etc. My first experience with death was when my grandfather with whom I was very close died. I was a young man when it happened and found it to be most traumatic. However, when I realized that death is part of living, its something we all will do, I now feel sorrow, but I try to spend time with them and remember the good times of the past. Spend time with your mom and family members to comfort them and you will be comforted also. If you have faith in Christ, then there is a greater comfort afforded you. My prayers are lifted up for you and your family.
 
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kopeck
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PostPosted: Thu Jan 18, 2018 5:39 pm    Post subject: Re: my Dad. Reply to specific post Reply with quote

I lost my father a couple of months ago, it was unexpected what's called an "AVM" (google it if interested). His body hung on for a few days but he was effectively gone by the time I got to the hospital the day he had his episode. He was 68, not young but not old either.

While we were at the hospital and the hospice house I was a lot like you, I wasn't sure how I felt, not really all that emotional and that bothered me.

After he passed it was much the same as we figured out his services and contacted friends and family. Finally on the day of the funeral it all came to a head and it hit me like a ton of bricks. I think up to that point I had things to do and I just put my head down and got to work, once we were past that point I just had to accept the situation.

Dad and I were close, a day hasn't passed that I don't think of him. They call it getting used to "The new normal" and I think that's about right. Not sure I'll ever get completely used to it but we will all just keep plugging along.

Take care,

K
 
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fixerupper
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Joined: 12 Oct 2003
Posts: 15029
Location: Albert City Iowa

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PostPosted: Thu Jan 18, 2018 6:13 pm    Post subject: Re: my Dad. Reply to specific post Reply with quote

Sorry about your dad’s suffering it’s so hard to watch. It’s scary, I’m 66 also. Marilyn’s brother passed from melanoma only it went to his lungs, it’s a terribly cruel way to go.

Please don’t feel guilty about the way you are handling it. Like others said we all deal with it in different ways. In your heart you love him and that’s what matters.
 
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SweetFeet
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PostPosted: Thu Jan 18, 2018 6:47 pm    Post subject: Re: my Dad. Reply to specific post Reply with quote

WI Dan,

So sorry for the situation with your dad. It's a darn tough part of life to go through.

Tears might come later. I held it together when Skyping or talking on the phone with Dad in his last weeks/days (as my sisters had moved him halfway across the country about 5 months before he died).

I felt OK to "let Dad go". I was actually relieved that he would be released from his suffering. And yet, when he passed away - I cried like a little girl... quite a few times.

Prayers for peace and comfort for your Dad in his leaving this world... and for you and your family as you grieve losing him.
 
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Steven-Id
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PostPosted: Thu Jan 18, 2018 6:59 pm    Post subject: Re: my Dad. Reply to specific post Reply with quote

My parents both passed about 10 years ago. Dad was 82 and mom was 76. They were in decent to fair health for their ages, they did have some issues but not doing too bad. Mom got really weak within about a 2 week period and my oldest sister was living with them. All of my siblings except one live within about 40 miles of here. My sister called the one that lives about 200 miles away and suggested maybe he come home and visit on a Saturday. We all met at my parents house and had a good visit telling stories etc.
That night mom passed during the night. Then dad passed just 4 weeks to the day later. We didn't expect either of them to go like they did but we didn't have any bad feelings among us.
Just be thankful you have a little notice. You can't prepare for their passing. Even though you can see it coming you still can't prepare for it. Just make the best of the time he has and let him know how you love and appreciate him. You may not get another chance.

Steven
 
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