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I need to vent... seriously... I want to kill...

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John_PA
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Joined: 28 Feb 2008
Posts: 1911
Location: Burgettstown, PA

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PostPosted: Fri Apr 05, 2013 11:48 pm    Post subject: I need to vent... seriously... I want to kill... Reply to specific post Reply with quote

I made a trip today about 100 miles round trip to get some moldboards for my plow. I took my dad along. He's 71 and loves going out for a drive especially to the lands of Columbiana, OH where the fields are reltively flat and well cared-for.


We had a good day out. I was happy to have spent the time with him.


He drove home. When we made the turn onto my driveway, I see my diesel truck flying across the field towards the new big shop. We were both stunned. Who is driving my truck? My dad still owns the truck, but, it's the farm truck and only I drive it. We are both very particular about this...


I pull into the drive and I see my truck backing towards my trailer. I see my brother-in-law in the truck. I have a few choice words about how he is driving it, but I'm not too alarmed. Normally I get worried. He does stupid things. He is 43 years old and doesn't have a lick of sense in his body. I'm nearly 10 years his junior, but I grew up farming. He didn't not. He is one of those guys who knows everything. He won't ever listen to anything, and I can't yell at him because he takes it out on my sister, who is 15 years younger than him. I am forgiving and patient. If he does something stupid, I don't yell or get mad. I treat him like he was retarded and needs special help. He is a certified paramedic. He can legally cut your throat and insert a trach tube if you are dying.

I know he doesn't know much about farming, but I deal with it.

With all that in my mind...

I unloaded the new moldboards from my dad's car(all 99 lbs of them) in one fell swoop and carry them in the shop. Just as I set them down, my sister comes running up and says something to my dad. I was out of ear shot.

I ask him what she said and he says, Your skidsteer is rolled over in the trees.


Now, I am not surprised too much. In fact, I had several nightmares about that.



So I walk up in the pasture (about a 10 minute walk of dread) and look, and my skidsteer is laying over on it's side, boom fully extended cross hilled.

Oil and diesel is running everywhere. The bucket is cracked at the welds. The lift Cylinder for the main boom is on top of a tree stump and I can't see what on God's green earth he was doing with it in that spot. He wasn't pulling on anything. It was just there.


I realize that he took my truck into the woods of the pasture and chained it to the skidsteer. He tried to upright it without me being there. He drove over stumps and logs and through all kinds of brush.


I am still calm, but I threw up twice.


My stomach in knots, I pulled the skidsteer upright, after having to drag it on it's side to get it from cross hilled to point down hill.


Calm as can be, I parked the dozer and didn't open my mouth. The only thing I said to him was, "did you shut it off or did it quit on it's own?"

My guts hurting like crazy, my head in a blur, sweating so bad, I couldn't start work on my plow. I had to lay down. I saw stars in my eyes, I was told my face looked purple. My dad saw it all and he looked clammy and pale. He went to get up and fell back down in the chair.


Neither of us said a word about it to my brother-in-law.


He acted like he didn't care and it wasn't his fault.



2 hours later, I had to use my skidsteer loader to load up round bales for a guy. I got it running, got the fluids filled up, but the engine sounded funny and is down on power. I let it sit for an hour before I started it, letting the oil run back down.


Guts hurting like crazy I got the job done.

I just want to scream. I want to put him in a corner and squeeze him until the drywall caves in. I just can't do it. I feel like he is mentally retarded and doesn't know any better. Even though he rides in a lifeflight helicopter and cuts people's throats open to give them life.


So, just a minute ago, when I was about over the frustration, and stomach pain, I walked out to my truck. He punched the dang dash board in! On top of that, my truck was connected to the trailer when I parked it. Somehow, the top of the jack handle(the spinner) was shattered into pieces on the deck!

He is a complete retard when it comes to anything at all and it makes me wonder if he is even safe, saving lives. He almost let my dad die 2 years ago, when my dad had 41 lbs of fluid around his heart, in his chest cavity from a-fib and he sat across from him on the couch and didn't speak up.

I'm beside myself.

I feel such rage and I can't let it out, because I know no-one got hurt. It's eating at me right now and I need to vent. I just got done being sick about it and feeling a little better. I just feel so much rage and anxiety. I know it's my problem. I'm a bad person for feeling this way, so please don't reply saying how terrible I am. Right now, I might take it the wrong way and track your IP and unleash my rage on you. I don't need that, I've had enough for one day. I know there is always one bu thole who tells me I'm in the wrong. Right now, just shut up. Listen to me vent and click on another post.


I just wish my dad could see what a buffoon this guy is and stop him. BUt, he won't. I can't either. It's not my place and I am scared of him. He is abusive. He verbally abuses my sister. Shot a 9mm pistol over my shoulder at a horse when it kicked the fence....



I'm so taken aback. I just needed to vent.
 


Last edited by John_PA on Fri Apr 05, 2013 11:54 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Bruce from Can.
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PostPosted: Sat Apr 06, 2013 12:23 am    Post subject: Re: I need to vent... seriously... I want to kill... Reply to specific post Reply with quote

Take the keys out of your stuff, when you are done with it. And it should be there just as you left it when you get back to it. Bruce
 
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Wile E
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PostPosted: Sat Apr 06, 2013 12:54 am    Post subject: Re: I need to vent... seriously... I want to kill... Reply to specific post Reply with quote

WTF?------I would have a real man to man talk with this bozo while holding a bowie knive. Tell him he is to NEVER use/drive your equipment again. And if you see him near your stuff you will call the cops.
 
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Dick2
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PostPosted: Sat Apr 06, 2013 1:03 am    Post subject: Re: I need to vent... seriously... I want to kill... Reply to specific post Reply with quote

I'm not that tolerant of those kinds of people. I'd show him the road where he came in and tell him to use it and never come back again.

I'm sorry for your sister, but obviously she made her choices so it's her problem to live with.
 
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Phil in Pa
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Location: United States

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PostPosted: Sat Apr 06, 2013 1:11 am    Post subject: Re: I need to vent... seriously... I want to kill... Reply to specific post Reply with quote

IF you get mad enough, you"ll forget about being
scared of him.
Sounds like he"ll be giving you more opportunities
until you fix it.
 
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MarkB_MI
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PostPosted: Sat Apr 06, 2013 2:14 am    Post subject: Re: I need to vent... seriously... I want to kill... Reply to specific post Reply with quote

Wow. There's not much you can do about this nincompoop, so long as he's married to your sister. Unfortunately, guys like this seem to be able go through life destroying everything around them without suffering any consequences, leaving those around them to deal with the damage.
 
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Tom-NoCenTX
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PostPosted: Sat Apr 06, 2013 2:23 am    Post subject: Re: I need to vent... seriously... I want to kill... Reply to specific post Reply with quote

Time for you to man up and put a permanent stop to this crazy stuff. You are what is called an "enabler" - - you enable all these actions on his part, and then complain about the known outcome. Change all your locks, then lock them up. Tell him he is never to touch anything you own again. Get him out of your life. Tell your sister if she had a brain she would get out now. End of story. Otherwise don't complain and cry about it. Tom
 
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WGWKy2
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PostPosted: Sat Apr 06, 2013 2:29 am    Post subject: Re: I need to vent... seriously... I want to kill... Reply to specific post Reply with quote

I must be the only person so far to think we need to hear more. Is the place yours? You said the truck was yours but still in your dad's name. Is the equipment yours or the farms. I know you are frustrated right now but I don't think this is the first time or the last time something like this is going to happen. IF you own the land and the equipment you are right, lock it up if not just be glad nobody got hurt and start repering the damage.
 
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unclemerle
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PostPosted: Sat Apr 06, 2013 3:00 am    Post subject: Re: I need to vent... seriously... I want to kill... Reply to specific post Reply with quote

WOW; If it"s your stuff like the other person said
pull the keys and lock things up. If it"s not your
stuff and your dads, start buying it one piece at
a time and then lock it up. Sounds like he is a
basket case and ones like that self destruct in
the end. Just put as much distance between you and
them as possible for now. Yes it is possible to
divorce family. I have a sister who I say less
than five words to a year and when I do they are
very well chosen words. She will twist any and
everything around so I look like the goof. Good
Luck and let us know how things turn out.
 
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Bret4207
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Joined: 15 Jan 2005
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Location: St Lawrence Valley, Northern NY

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PostPosted: Sat Apr 06, 2013 3:26 am    Post subject: Re: I need to vent... seriously... I want to kill... Reply to specific post Reply with quote

The only thing I can say is , no, you are not a bad person for feeling the way you do. What you do now, that's up to you.
 
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donjr
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PostPosted: Sat Apr 06, 2013 3:30 am    Post subject: Re: I need to vent... seriously... I want to kill... Reply to specific post Reply with quote

I don't know how, but he must be related to my G-son......Half a bottle of CR is an antidote!
 
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Hoofer B
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PostPosted: Sat Apr 06, 2013 3:41 am    Post subject: Re: I need to vent... seriously... I want to kill... Reply to specific post Reply with quote

WOW I would be a bit mad as well. Take photos of everything damaged, get a police report, get estimates of what it will cost to repair, becasuse that is how much he owes you. Go to court if necessary. Good luck
 
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Traditional Farmer
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PostPosted: Sat Apr 06, 2013 3:54 am    Post subject: Re: I need to vent... seriously... I want to kill... Reply to specific post Reply with quote

You're the one thats stupid if you continue to support this type stuff.If the equipment isn't yours than don't fix anything just buy what equipment you need and keep it at your own place.And as far as your sister goes she's an Idiot too if she puts up with his abuse so she'd be on her own if it were me.And if you don't have guts enough to stand up to your BIL then don't be a Chickensh*t and take you anger out on someone like me that tells you the truth and I wouldn't give a rats behind anyway.Put your Big Boy britches on tomorrow mornning and set about getting things straight if you aren't man enough to do it no one can help you and you deserve what you get.
 
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OH Boy
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PostPosted: Sat Apr 06, 2013 4:04 am    Post subject: Re: I need to vent... seriously... I want to kill... Reply to specific post Reply with quote

If he keeps pulling stunts like that he is gonna wind up dead, you will find him one days crushed under a piece of equipment.
 
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mEl
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PostPosted: Sat Apr 06, 2013 4:09 am    Post subject: Re: I need to vent... seriously... I want to kill... Reply to specific post Reply with quote


John,

In my own opinion, I can understand your frustration at the events that led to this post of yours and probably others in the past that have also frustrated you.

We all are sympathetic to your situation but if I must say so I feel that your reaction is over the top if it takes you to a point of physical sickness. Let me add that I do not think you wrong but allowing "things" to give you mental anguish which comes through in your post loud and clear is a bit unusual.

I speak as a man who has lost two sons to tragic accidents, one to an industrial accident, another to a motorcycle accident so I know real pain. I could have gone over the deep end both times but God gave me the strength to endure and even be an encouragement during these incidents. You are not alone, don't dwell on this, Your post shows that you know that you may not be handling this rightly.

My grandaughter and husband escaped a housefire which left them with only the clothes on their back about 3 weeks ago, they have with the help of friends recovered nicely and will go forward.

In this world your problems are not unique and some people can grind you to your bone. If possible, do as others have suggested and secure the equipment if your FIL will allow.

Please sit down with someone like a Pastor who can give right adviceand just talk this thing out. What your stupid BIL does is one thing. How you react is quite another.

I see you are in Pa. so I'm taking the chance that you won't retaliate cause I am to. Do not take this as criticism, just one man who has been thru it to another, Good luck in the future

mEl
 
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