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OT-Questions and Answers from AARP Forum


 
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DownSouth
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PostPosted: Sat Jul 16, 2011 3:46 pm    Post subject: OT-Questions and Answers from AARP Forum Reply to specific post Reply with quote

Questions and Answers from AARP Forum

Q: Where can men over the age of 60 find younger, hot women who are interested in them? A: Try a bookstore, under fiction..

Q: What can a man do while his wife is going through menopause?
A: Keep busy. If you're handy with tools, you can finish the basement. When you're done you'll have a place to live.

Q: Someone has told me that menopause is mentioned in the bible. Is that true? Where can it be found?
A: Yes. Matthew 14:92:
"And Mary rode Joseph's a** all the way to Egypt .."

Q: How can you increase the heart rate of your 60-plus year old husband?
A: Tell him you're pregnant.

Q: How can you avoid that terrible curse of the elderly wrinkles?
A: Take off your glasses.

Q: Seriously! What can I do for these Crow's feet and all those wrinkles on my face?
A: Go braless. It will usually pull them out.

Q: Why should 60-plus year old people use valet parking?
A: Valets don't forget where they park your car.

Q: Is it common for 60-plus year olds to have problems with short term memory storage?
A: Storing memory is not a problem. Retrieving it is the problem.

Q: As people age, do they sleep more soundly?
A: Yes, but usually in the afternoon.

Q: Where should 60-plus year olds look for eye glasses?
A: On their foreheads.

Q: What is the most common remark made by 60-plus year olds when they enter antique stores? A: "Gosh, I remember these!"
 
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lyle niemi
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PostPosted: Sat Jul 16, 2011 4:01 pm    Post subject: Re: OT-Questions and Answers from AARP Forum Reply to specific post Reply with quote

Oh thanks alot!! Is that what I have to look forward to. Thats it Im not turning sixty.
 
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Mike (WA)
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PostPosted: Sat Jul 16, 2011 4:02 pm    Post subject: Re: OT-Questions and Answers from AARP Forum Reply to specific post Reply with quote

Old guy is at the fitness center. Sees a cute gal he wants to impress. He knows he isn't much to look at, but is in pretty good shape. Wanting to accentuate his strong points, asks a nearby personal trainer, "Quick- what machine should I get on to impress that gal over there?" Trainer looks at him, and says, "I'm thinking the ATM in the lobby."
 
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Spook
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Location: Howell, Michigan

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PostPosted: Sat Jul 16, 2011 4:04 pm    Post subject: Re: OT-Questions and Answers from AARP Forum Reply to specific post Reply with quote

Mike (WA) wrote:
(quoted from post at 17:02:36 07/16/11) Old guy is at the fitness center. Sees a cute gal he wants to impress. He knows he isn't much to look at, but is in pretty good shape. Wanting to accentuate his strong points, asks a nearby personal trainer, "Quick- what machine should I get on to impress that gal over there?" Trainer looks at him, and says, "I'm thinking the ATM in the lobby."


I figured out a long time ago, if some young thing starts coming onto me, the 1st thing to reach for in my wallet!!
 
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showcrop
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PostPosted: Sat Jul 16, 2011 4:40 pm    Post subject: Re: OT-Questions and Answers from AARP Forum Reply to specific post Reply with quote

It's been proven that senior memory loss is not really memory loss but lack of imprinting. That's why you can remember things from long ago but not more recent things. The reason, in turn, for lack of imprinting is that older people are constantly having much deeper, more profound thoughts about much more complicated things than we did back in our thirties and forties. Thus it just stands to reason that it is much more difficult for some meaningless thing like where we parked the car to break through the constant complex thoughts that we are having. Naturally it appears to the young simpletons around us that we are loosing our memories. Works for me.
 
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Bendee
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PostPosted: Sat Jul 16, 2011 6:21 pm    Post subject: Re: OT-Questions and Answers from AARP Forum Reply to specific post Reply with quote

"Her" I think, seize the opportunity. the wallet is always there.
 
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S.Crum
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PostPosted: Sat Jul 16, 2011 6:33 pm    Post subject: Re: OT-Questions and Answers from AARP Forum Reply to specific post Reply with quote

I turn 51 tomorrow, sucks already!
 
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DownSouth
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PostPosted: Sat Jul 16, 2011 6:51 pm    Post subject: Re: OT-Questions and Answers from AARP Forum Reply to specific post Reply with quote

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!
Don't panic yet, it only gets worse!
Enjoy YOUR DAY tomorrow!
 
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teddy52food
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PostPosted: Sat Jul 16, 2011 7:39 pm    Post subject: Re: OT-Questions and Answers from AARP Forum Reply to specific post Reply with quote

As you get older, the mind is the second thing to go.
 
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S.Crum
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PostPosted: Sun Jul 17, 2011 3:28 am    Post subject: Re: OT-Questions and Answers from AARP Forum Reply to specific post Reply with quote

Thanks
 
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Billy Shafer
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PostPosted: Sun Jul 17, 2011 5:19 am    Post subject: Re: OT-Questions and Answers from AARP Forum Reply to specific post Reply with quote

It sucks worse the older you get.
 
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C Bergan
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PostPosted: Sun Jul 17, 2011 5:57 am    Post subject: Re: OT-Questions and Answers from AARP Forum Reply to specific post Reply with quote

A guy told me the other day that he heard: You get old, then you lose your mind, then you forget to zip up, and then you forget to zip down. I told him,"when you get to that point, who cares?!!"
 
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lyle niemi
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PostPosted: Sun Jul 17, 2011 8:17 am    Post subject: Re: OT-Questions and Answers from AARP Forum Reply to specific post Reply with quote

s.crum wrote:
(quoted from post at 03:33:15 07/17/11) I turn 51 tomorrow, sucks already!
remember that old saying..... the older the buck the stiffer the horn Shocked
 
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OLD HECTOR
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PostPosted: Sun Jul 17, 2011 10:09 am    Post subject: Re: OT-Questions and Answers from AARP Forum Reply to specific post Reply with quote

lyle niemi wrote:
(quoted from post at 17:01:01 07/16/11) Oh thanks alot!! Is that what I have to look forward to. Thats it Im not turning sixty.
Hey you dont have to look foreward to those things Ive noticed they are already there .lol
 
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The Dukester
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PostPosted: Sun Jul 17, 2011 12:35 pm    Post subject: Re: OT-Questions and Answers from AARP Forum Reply to specific post Reply with quote

As a "professional oldster" at 77 I can say my reason for remembering the older stuff and forgetting the new is because most of the new is rubbish, or stupid or senseless while the older things have real value and substance...both the material things and the spiritual things. Look at modern music for instance....at least 75% of it is just senseless noise whereas most of the older music was poetic and pretty, had meaning, and was and still is relaxing to listen too. Lawrence Welk Rules!!!! Heh, heh.
 
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