Feeling distressed

[Gary in TX]

Hey guys, just needing to vent a little. Sure could use your prayers and good thoughts as well.
Life to me right now is really not worth living.
Don't worry, not going to do anything stupid or anything. I'm just tired of pretty much everything. I guess I might just need a rest but who can take time off to do that these days with bills, bills, bills.
I've been talking with my cousin who was helping me before having some health problems and I"m thinking of streamlining things around here to get some relief. I guess I'm just tired more than anything of all the debt. White boy just needs some relief and peace of mind.
I know my nerves are all but used up right now. Really to me life sucks, hopefully maybe someone will come into my life that I can love again? I hear people talking about wanting to be alone, they are crazy! The silence is so loud you cannot believe it at times. I've not ever tried to do anything to anyone and if I have its not been intended by any means. I would just like to have a life and feel like I'm somebody and wanted. I am just really tired, tired of all the crap in life, where is the silver lining in this cloud? Sorry to be so down and out right now but just needing to vent some of these thoughts.
Any well wishes would be appreciate but if your gonna slam me on any of this, please just pass this by as more grief in life is not what I need right now.
Thanks to all

 

[mike2366]

(quoted from post at 16:47:56 06/07/09) Hey guys, just needing to vent a little. Sure could use your prayers and good thoughts as well.
Life to me right now is really not worth living.
Don't worry, not going to do anything stupid or anything. I'm just tired of pretty much everything. I guess I might just need a rest but who can take time off to do that these days with bills, bills, bills.
I've been talking with my cousin who was helping me before having some health problems and I"m thinking of streamlining things around here to get some relief. I guess I'm just tired more than anything of all the debt. White boy just needs some relief and peace of mind.
I know my nerves are all but used up right now. Really to me life sucks, hopefully maybe someone will come into my life that I can love again? I hear people talking about wanting to be alone, they are crazy! The silence is so loud you cannot believe it at times. I've not ever tried to do anything to anyone and if I have its not been intended by any means. I would just like to have a life and feel like I'm somebody and wanted. I am just really tired, tired of all the crap in life, where is the silver lining in this cloud? Sorry to be so down and out right now but just needing to vent some of these thoughts.
Any well wishes would be appreciate but if your gonna slam me on any of this, please just pass this by as more grief in life is not what I need right now.
Thanks to all

Gary,
Thoughts and prayers from us here at the Biery home.
Stress and loneliness can really get to a person. Just remember that you have friends here.

Mike

 

[flying belgian]

I don't know if you are a farmer/rancher but if you are you might consider down sizing a bit. Some times trying to do more and get more and be big, big, big can get you in a financial mess and cause a lot of stress in your life. Forget about the "Joneses" and sell off some assets to signifantly reduce or eliminate dept. My Mother told me years ago that once you have all your depts paid it really don't take much money to live. That is so true.

 

[Gary in TX]

I do custom hay baling and things have been on a build up over the past few years and equipment was bought to help keep up with the load but of course the fuel prices last year along with a bumper crop of hay year before last didn't help much last year. last year was not really that great. Going to downsize some and regroup this year. I'm not going to let anything beat me but I may just have to size back for a time and attack again.

 

[Gary in TX]

Thanks so much, I think the lonelyness and the lack of feeling needed is really hurting more than anything else. I'm everyones best friend when they need me for something but then they seem to crap on ya the rest of the time. I don't feel I deserve that, not that I think I'm super special or anything, LOL

 

[Too Far Gone]

Ive felt a lot the same as my Dad died June 08,and Im now a one man hay crew.We always custom baled together.Ive spent the last year selling a lot of stuff,and it does feel pretty good to get rid of that debt,but Ive also bought a few cheaper things that really help me out,but they are paid for.A decent older cheap loader for the 1086 is the next thing.It'll get better.

 

[cadet trooper]

Gary, I take it from your conversation that you're not married if that is the case there are some farm dating dot coms on the web that have had some success the son of our neighbor down the road from us found a great young farm lady from Idaho and they're getting married in Oct. she came to live with him here and he has a beef cattle farm and she fits right in drives the tractors and helps with the books and chores. If your married I don't think the wife would appreciate that very much. I know mind wouldn't. Ha Ha! Little humor there.

 

[Bradley K]

Hey Gary, My heart goes out to you. I'd like to briefly share with you my experiences, hopefully you don't mind.

About 6 years ago I was feeling like you. I had a marriage end a few years before that and then relationships that would always end with me feeling more lonely than before, (it's hard to find someone who understands the time involved in farming).

I was feeling in funk, when I had joined a small group connected with a church in a neighboring town. Now I had grown up in church all my life and hardly ever missed a Sunday, but this was something different.

Through the course of several weeks I realized that I had all kinds of religion, but had never totally trusted in Jesus to be my Lord and Saviour. Let me tell you that this was a total transformation. He is seeking a personal relationship, if we would open our heart.

Now I'm not hear to say that things will be all rosy for you and your problems will all be solved. I am saying that you will always have a part of you that is lonely, no matter how great your life is otherwise; without Jesus in your life. God's word is the only real truth, start with Romans and the gospel of John. He loves all of us and is pulling at your heart.

Just take it a day at a time, be patient, and have integrity no matter what others say or do.

Feel free to email me if you want to talk more. Take care,


Bradley

PS. After six years the Lord is still working on me. There are times I fall, but He has grace. I will say that walking with the Lord has been quite a journey, and it is just getting started as He says he will never leave me.

 

[Gary in TX]

Thanks Bradley,
I am a member of Christs church although I have been missing alot over the past several years. i know getting back into a regular routine will make things better and I'm going to be doing that. Many thanks my friend!
Gary

 

[Gary in TX]

you are right, I"m divorced, will be 10 years this coming dec. as a matter of fact. I have a lady here i'm really interested in and she also likes the farm life and John Deere, now you can't get much better than that. Unfortunatly there is a problem, she is currently not available and I will leave that at that. I'm not making any moves on her or anything but have been visiting some and getting to know her and her kids. They are all great, maybe something will come of that in the future, who knows
I do appreciate the response to the post and all the others who have posted as well.

 

[gaston ruiz]

HI there , sometimes BAD is not always BAD,been there.sometimes BAD brings out the better in you ,then you get ahead in life, wiser .streamline a little at a time, pay off one thing at atime .Simplify life ,the little things in life pay better in the long run. WAS there ,done that . IT PAID OFF. best wishes , gaston

 

[1031D]

Gary, know how you feel about people crappin all over ya. I got a few friends who only seem to call when they need something hauled or a garden plowed or something else free, or a dinner invite, but they can never seem to be willing to return a favor! I said the heck with some of them last year had a mind settling blowout in a restaurant when a buddy asked if I could plow his garden for free again and then when I asked why he couldn't help return the favor the last few times he and another buddy got what was coming to them, we've never spoke since and I couldn't be happier!

 

[Mike Aylward]

Well said, Brad. He never promises things will be good. He does promise He will never leave us. That is a tremendous help in times of trouble. Mike

 

[Mike Hunter]

Yea iI know what you mean. I use to beleive in the good neighbor policy untile I meet my neighbors. stopped working for free. now they dont know me.
mike collector of fine early combines.

 

[Ande]

Gary,we all have been in the some situation,some worse then others,I know I have taken some licks,but Gary,I feel your the same type of guy I'm.You down on your luck,but I will say this,I feel your also the type that will get back up even thou you been kicked by the mule.You will dust yourself off and say bring it on.Just my thoughts.

But I agree with the other fine fellows here,and go to that church your talking about and talk with the preacher.They are good listeners.And they have a great boss!

Also go to a website,called www.daveramsey.com
this great man has help 1000's of people get out of debt.He has some great books out too.Maybe he can help you figure out some things.I know he follows the Lord also.

Gary,remember one thing,there are alot of friends in here already pulling for you,including me.Your going to work this out

 

[Bret4207]

I've felt the same way on and off for years. Found out I had a chemical imbalance that was adjusted with anti-depression meds. Not an everyday thing, just once in a while. That got me to stop drinking too. I also agree that having faith is important. Knowing there's some plan, some reason for all this, makes things easier.

 

[Poag]

A friend once told me nothing is ever as bad OR as good as you think it is...... Hang in there... This thing will turn around before you know it.

 

[tim(in)]

When God takes you to the edge of a cliff, you can count on two things. < he's either going to catch you or teach you to fly!Also there are magazines like stockman grass farmer, graze, and farm show that will show you different ways of farming , that can definitly help.If you get tired of playing someone elses game, then its time to make your own game!!The thing about the clouds being the darkest before th elight is true and the old devil doesnt want you to find out about the silver lining that is coming to you. and a lot of it will be how you view things., When your nose is pressed against a wall, thats all you can see, time to take a few steps back and get things in perspective. Nothing shrinks that wall like being able to reduce it to its real size where you can see ways over and around it.Sorry they sounds like cliches but for me they have proved true. i'm a laid off truck driver and gonna relax and get things in perspective before i find a job that suits me and the shape my health is in.I got hurt on the job and my endurance is about walking 5 minutes before i have to sit and get pressure off my back and legs and let the numbness go away.for the first time i am putting my email on a message,.