Adages.....

[Goose]

I love adages that overstate the obvious.

One of my favorites is, "The effectiveness of a firearm is greatly enhanced if it is loaded".

Does anyone else have any good ones?

 

[JCinKY]

“The difficulty of the job at hand is directly proportional to the amount of profanity used to complete it.”

Always held true for me.

 

[unc]

" All hand grenades found to have short fuses must be returned to the manufacturer immediately..." unc

 

[Dave H (MI)]

"The more things change, the more they stay the same"

Has provided me with a lot of comfort in my life and has generally proven to be true.

 

[Zachary Hoyt]

Two of my personal favorites are "The burned child fears the spilled milk" (P. G. Wodehouse) and "An ill wind grows no moss" (Gerald Durrell). They are applicable to many of life's situations.
Zach

 

[VicS]

Lack of planning on your part does not
constitute a emergency on my part.

 

[Brendon Warren]

If my aunt had nuts she'd have been my uncle.

 

[DetailDave]

I live by " forgiveness is always easier to ask for than permission"

 

[Crazy Horse]

He's not as good as he once was, but he's as good once as he ever was.

 

[JF in MI]

Sounds too much like Shakespeare. Nothing he wrote ever made sense to me.

 

[Butch.]

If it doesn't work hit it with a hammer.
If it still doesn't work it's an electrical problem.

 

[OldFarmTractor]

PPPPPP

Prior Planning Prevents Pee Poor Performance

 

[TimV]

Heard a new one myself tonight. Fellow I know was discussing a mutual acquaintance who's so talkative as to be nearly impossible to get away from. It might not register with the younger crowd, but both of these guys are old enough that this would have been well within their experiences, and the fellow says to me "I think he was nnalert with a Victrola needle"!

 

[rusty6]

I like that one about Time wounds all heels.
And the older I get, the better I used to be.

 

[carvel minne farmer]

MURPHYS LAW: #1 anything that can go wrong will go wrong at the most inappropriate time! #2 the number and the scope of your troubles is directly proportional to the distance from home!

 

[Donald in MN]

People in glass houses shouldn't throw stones. And people in stone houses shouldn't throw glasses.

 

[johnlobb]

Shakespeare was the most over rated hack ever! I also like "We went to different schools together" and my FIL's favorite, "He couldn't pour P out of a boot if the instructions were printed on the heel."

 

[Davin]

"It's better to wear out than rust out" Heard this from an old man who lived somewhere in western Nebraska.

 

[Royse]

A couple from my grandfather:

"The fastest way to double your money is to fold it
in half and put it back in your pocket."

"The best exercise is not push-ups, it's push-backs.
Try them the next time you're at the table!"

 

[Bruce from Can.]

If you fail to plan , then you plan to fail !

 

[Duner Wi]

An expert is a fool 50 miles from home.

 

[Adrian Billheimer]

Here's a favorite I keep in my toolbox at work, "If it doesn't fit FORCE IT, if it breaks, it needed to be replaced anyway".

 

[Pete in MD]

How about 7 P's

Proper Prior Planning Prevents Pee Poor performance

 

[charlie n]

When my teenage sons would question my knowledge of life I would say, I wish I was as smart now as I was dumb then.

 

[flying belgian]

"Grass don't grow on a well used path" referring to a bald head.

 

[SW EM]

"We must either wear out or rust out every one of us. My choice is to wear out."
? Theodore Roosevelt, The Obstacle Is the Way: The Timeless Art of Turning Trials into Triumph

 

[Steve@Advance]

Mark Twain said:

Never argue with a fool, onlookers may not be able to tell the difference.

 

[olgentdc]

Once a KING always a King , But Once a night is ENOUGH

 

[Elton Fancher]

" Neither borrower or lender be " from Shakespeare.

 

[John Deere D]

'Speak softly and carry a big stick'

The late Theodore Roosevelt...

 

[FBH44]

My younger son claims "When there's snow on the roof the furnaces's OUT!!" Smart aleck ...

 

[DPittman]

I can't afford bus fare to welfare

 

[Kansasredneck]

If you hold your nose to the grind stone rough
And keep it down there long enough
You will forget there are such things
As brooks that babble
And birds that sing
These few things will your world compose
Just you, a stone, and your dang old nose.



Nothing in life is serious enough to be taken seriously.
The worst it can do is kill you,
And your gonna die eventually.

 

[Dsmythe]

Don't ever give advice....Wise Men don't need it and Fools won't heed it.

When a child reaches adolescents he/she should be placed in a barrel, nail the lid shut and feed him/her through the bung hole, when the child reaches 17 years of age you should nail the bung hole shut....Will Rogers

 

[Josh-nhihguy]

Red Green always said: If it ain't broke, you're not trying.

 

[Batel]

One day at work we were discussing a recent failure by the brass and a co-worker said in the Air Force he was taught, "Proper planning prevents poor performance". I told him in this case "Pee Poor Planning Prevented Progress". I thought he was going to fall out of his chair.

 

[Batel]

I'm not the man I never was.

 

[Ian Beale]

From old time slaughtering here

"Couldn't run guts for a slow butcher"

 

[led]

There is no such thing as friendly fire.
A fool and his money are soon parted.

 

[JerryS]

Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

Getting older is good, but being old stinks.

 

[hillbillyhim]

One of my dad's favorites was no good deed goes unpunished.

 

[sms]

Ask him to look up how old Mick Jagger's youngest son is and how old he is and do the math.

 

[islandgreen]

You can't get rats from mice.My dads favorite.

 

[F.E.Bear]

No one is too poor to pay attention.

 

[jCarroll]

You can be careful several times a day, but you can get killed only once.

I never had any trouble trailering anything that was tied down too well.

 

[TKiste]

"If your not going to use your head, then you might as well have a butt on both ends" my dad.

 

[Phil9N3667]

From a long deceased friend of mine-Nothing beats a failure but a try!

 

[JWA]

Grand Daddy said. " Ain't no bad days, some are just better than others"

 

[rrlund]

I believe Will Rogers said something to the effect of: This is the only country in the world where a fella can drive himself to the poor house in a new car.

 

[Bret4207]

The person who will cause you the most troubles in life is that guy looking back at you in the mirror.

 

[Ultradog MN]

Being spiritual without beliving in God is like believing there's horses asses but not horses.

 

[Keith Molden]

Speaking of someone who knows it all. If I could buy him for what he knows and sell him for what he thinks he knows, I'd be a rich man.

 

[Traditional Farmer]

My grandmother used to say about men that were hen pecked 'He's living under petticoat rule'.

 

[Stephen Newell]

At times when you are confronted with problems my mother would say "It's a great life if you don't weaken"

 

[jddrawbar]

Wish I was as good a person as my dog thinks I am.....

 

[jimg.allentown]

If I had as much money as other folks think I have, I could live like a millionaire.

 

[n9lhm]

A consultant is a person that knows 150 different ways to make love, but doesn't know any women......... or men.

 

[Butch.]

The best sign of a good relationship is no sign of it on Facebook.

 

[TimWafer]

"Life is not in holding a good hand, but in playing a poor hand well!"

 

[TimWafer]

"Learn from others mistakes, for you cant possibly live long enough to make them all yourself." But also "you have to make your own mistakes, for none can make them for you."

 

[tim s]

My Grand Father would say "When you get old, you get tired quicker and stay tired longer"

 

[birdbrain9291]

My Favorite-- If I'd known I was going to live this long, I'd have taken better care of Myself

 

[wd9garymn]

From my father in law who was bald--you can't have hair and brains both.
Old farmer friend--I'm so poor I can't afford a pot to pee in or a window to throw it out of.

 

[steve_in_mo]

My dad used to say: "If it ain't one d###ed thing, it's two."

 

[gregww]

One I tell my wife repeatedly....You can't put 10# of sh** in a 5# bucket

 

[Super H Mike]

Also, Its better to burn out, than fade away.

 

[dick1234]

Dad always said, Ain't getting nothin done with the clutch in.

 

[carvel minne farmer]

quote from my dad: a smart man learns from his own mistakes, a wise man learns from others mistakes!

 

[P I Pete]

I see said the blind man as he picked up the hammer saw.

Pete

 

[carvel minne farmer]

a quote from a good friend of mine when talking to a young engineer about a bunch of changes he came up with on metering stations that big al had been building for close to 20 years, the young engineer wanted to make a whole bunch of changes and when he got done listing them all he asked al what he thought: al turned and looked at him and said "son I think if brains were leather you wouldn't have enough to make a jock strap for a flea"---- that's as close as I ever came to p**ing my pants at work :lol:

 

[WI Dan]

"Always make new mistakes."
(by Esther Dyson)

 

[rockyridgefarm]

One I think of often when I'm on here is -

Arguing with a fool is like wrestling a pig in the mud. All you get for your effort is dirty, then you realize the pig likes it!

I think a lot on this one -

Never associate with a person who say's "Nothing personal, it's just business". You're likely the next person he rips off.

 

[JimIA]

A few years ago I decided to make an attempt at raising some sheep. I called an older friend/farmer/mentor of mine who raises sheep and has for the last 50 years. I asked him for any advice he can give. He asked "Have you heard of Murphy's law?" I said yes, he replied "Murphy was a sheep farmer" lol

A few of my favorites otherwise is "Youth is wasted on the young" and one I came up with is "An open eye sees more than an open mouth".

 

[The Dukester]

Friend who was a Prototype Shop Supervisor had a sign in his office......"In every project or product there comes a time to burn the plans, shoot the engineer, and start production"

 

[Andy Martin]

(quoted from post at 19:44:21 02/01/18) I live by " forgiveness is always easier to ask for than permission"

Ha! I fired a guy for saying that once. He had violated policy and was just getting a reprimand until he made it clear he knew he should have asked for permission and would have been denied.

 

[GordoSD]

We're getting down to where the cow eats the cabbage.

 

[Perplexed]

My Dad didn't use profanity. But somtimes when he got frustrated he would say "It's not worth a pinch of poop!"

 

[tim s]

About some one stupid.."If you put his brain on the sharp edge of a razor blade,,it would look like a Bebe in the middle of a 4 lane Highway"

 

[JDBRIDER]

If the women don't find you handsome, they should at least find you handy.

 

[Pete Kaufman]

Be careful of the words you say, keep them soft and sweet, you never know from day to day which ones you'll have to eat.