Got a haircut

[Ultradog MN]

Went to my usual barber shop yesterday.
There's 3 chairs and 5 or 6 barbers that come and go. One is the owner.
I suppose the others just rent the chairs. I always just walk in, wait my turn and get whoever.
Maybe it's the same everywhere but here they still put foam on the back of your neck and shave it with a straight razor. And give you about 20 seconds on the neck and shoulders with the electric vibrator too though I could dispense with that.
So there's one barber in the place, one guy in the chair and me.
A few minutes later a wild, beat up looking guy with a lot of tats and a grill of about 8 gold teeth came in. He talks to the other barber for a moment then asked if I needed a haircut.
I'm thinking, Huh? He's the barber?
But I got in the chair and told him to cut it like the other barber has his which was a little shorter than my usual.
Any more, they mostly wet your hair and cut it with scissors. If they use the electric clippers it's to clean up a bit and do the eyebrows, etc with the same tool.
But this guy breaks out the big clippers and gets at it.
I didn't have much to say but it was interesting getting him to talk about himself.
When I asked him where he learned to cut hair he said, in prison.
I laughed out loud and told him that he looked like it was true.
He laughed too and we had a bit of fun.
I kept asking questions and learned he'd been in the joint 4 times for a total of 11 years.
Bad kid from a bad home in a bad city.
He's 45 now.
But the haircut...
All this time he's sawing away on my hair with the clippers. Then he does the shaving and vibrator thing and at last he hands me the mirror
And it's a blanketly blank crewcut almost!
Top's about 1in. Way too short.
Sheesh.
I wore these haircuts for my first 18 years when my Mom cut them on me. And for 4 years in the Navy.
Those were always done with electric clippers too.
I told him I could forgive him for all the bad deeds he did in the past but I would never forgive him for the really bad haircut.
First he laughed at what I said . And then he apologized for getting a little too close.
I got this bad haircut but I know it'll grow out in about 6 weeks so I don't really give a rat's nose about that.
So I paid and tipped him too.
It was a couple of hours afterward that I remembered the part about the shaving and realized I had survived a violent criminal at my neck with a straight razor and lived to laugh about it.
Ha!
It was the best and worst haircut I've had.
The guy had character and a lot of life's experience. Most of it not the best.
But he'd maintained a sense of humor through it all and kept you liking him.
And I hope God keeps him.

 

[pete 23]

Well, one never knows what kind of a hair cut they will get but give you credit for your honorable attitude.

In town, our barber, only one, retired about 4 or 5 years ago. Sooooo, I have to make appointments at the ladies beauty salon. I was 80 years old, first time hair cut by a woman that I know of.

I liked to walk in, sit down and wait my turn, but the Salons don't operate that way. Hair is cut a little different than I usually had it but it's ok. During all the lockdowns I got looking pretty shaggy though.

 

[Russ from MN]

My wife has been cutting my hair since it became unsafe for me to go into a shop, because of my compromised immune system. She is doing a good job of, cut it today. But of course, there is not much to work with!

 

[johnofnewhaven]

The difference between a good haircut and a bad haircut is about 3 weeks. At least that's what I was always told.

 

[Bruce from Can.]

Only difference between a bad haircut and a good haircut is two weeks! My wife cuts my hair, and I cut hers.

If we do a bad job, we are the ones that are stuck looking at it, lol. Just like kids, we go for a ice cream cone afterwards.

 

[SweetFeet]

Great story. You're a gifted writer.

 

[4520BW]

Reminds me of the Ray Stevens song!

 

[wjytexas]

Great story. I cut my own now as little as there is. Back when I was in high school the barber used a straight razor on teh back of the neck and sideburns but the shop was next to one of the bars so you did not get a haircut after 3 pm.

 

[Hobo,NC]

I busted my head open 30 years ago at my BIL house he cuts his poodles hair I ask him to get the sheers out and shave my head before I go to the ER. A cheap set of sheers last me 2 years 20/30 bucks : )

When my wife started chemo she went to a black barber to have her hair cut off she thought they buffed it to make a bald head shinny.

 

[Bruce from Can.]

That reminds me of the story about a bald fella that goes in to get trimmed up. He asked the barber why he has to pay the full $20.00 for his hair cut, when he has so little hair ? The barber tells him, he only charges $5.00 for cutting the hair, the other $15.00 is his fee for searching for hair to cut !

 

[Billy Shafer]

All I can say. You can't cut what isn't there

 

[greenmech]

That made a good story! Ron MN

 

[midmomike]

My first post. Been a lurker for years. Always wanted to stay out of the fray. But UD, I gotta comment. I would love to have a beer with you. You have a unique perspective on life that I, as an old fart, appreciate greatly. I always wondered what would make me make my first post, But that, Sir, was hilarious. Thx.

 

[504]

The girls have been cutting mine a little short but I don t think I ll tell them. My most memorable haircut I was 15 and had not had it cut for a year. My hair was tied in knots between the wind and the 70 JD all morning. I drove into town for lunch and stopped at Roy s for a haircut. When I told him off my ears and out of my eyes I thought he was going to faint. He didn't even complain when I told him dad would be in to pay for the cut! I haven't had shoulder length hair since.

 

[bmack95hd]

Yikes, come on, if the story is that prolonged who would put it with that! Not me!

 

[kcm.MN]

Great story UD!

Wife and I went to Supercuts shortly after we got married. The woman cutting my hair kept talking, but apparently not listening. When done, wife said never again and has been cutting my hair ever since like a pro! She is always her worst critic, so I know it always looks great. After all, she's the one who has to look at it all day every day.

 

[Bill(Wis)]

I went to a salon once. Lady barber. Had to make an appointment. Turned out, we knew a lot of the same people. Had a nice conversation and left. Next haircut was with my regular barber. First thing he said was: ''Who's the woman who's been cutting your hair'' I asked: ''How did you know''? He said: ''It looks like you had two haircuts, they don't have the strength in their arms. I can always tell''.

 

[Russ from MN]

That's why so many guys that are almost bald shave their heads!

 

[thehickdaddy]

exactly!!
I am surprised no one else has posted the link yet so i will

great song
ray stevens the haircut song

 

[old]

I haven't had a hair cut in well over 2 decades now. But it pretty much stay as long as it is and has been that way for decades also

 

[37 chief]

When Dad was farming, he had a hired man from Mexico that had a little house on the place. He had a hand operated clipper. He cut our hair when we were younger If he didn't operate the clipper fast enough he ended pulling hair. It was very painful for a little guy. I go to a Vietnamese lady barber now. I tell her what I want. I never know if she understands me or not. I never liked the hair cut, but I go back every few months. Stan

 

[redforlife]

I don't know. Sometimes I think we get it embedded in our head that anybody that has been on the inside, must be bad bad murderers, and serial killers, and alike. But that's not always true.

There's actually a few cases here and there where some people were just caught on the wrong edge of the law, and aren't really all that bad of people.
Just an example- like when a 19 year old goes in for messing around with a 17 year old girlfriend. The law spells out that, that ain't right. But when you use such ages as in this example, the law kind of don't make any sense. Why should a 17 year old, and a 15 year old be alright just because nobody broke the 18 year old age barrier??

I only used this strictly as an example, but there are many such situations created by our laws and how they are wrote.

Not sure what this guys deal is, or was. Maybe a slow learner. Maybe a bad cookie. Who knows? Maybe a career outlaw, or maybe his young and dumb days are over.

 

[flying belgian]

Mines pretty easy. I tell them put on the number 2 guard and have at it.
When I had my metal fab shop I had a contract to repair all the dumpsters for a garbage hauler. Their driver would bring a load out about once a month. We would go in the office and have a can of coke and visit. Heck of a nice guy. I learned this was his first job after being released from prison. Did 17 years for killing a guy.
If it all went down the way he said it did, the guy deserved killing.

 

[Tractorcedric]

When I was dating between marriages I had a one that liked to cut my hair. She had me set in one of those old white steel chairs people had in their kitchens that had a set of steps that folded out. Then she would giggle and off went her

 

[formerly ny bill]

Linda has been cutting my hair since we were in college in the 70s. In 2015, she was out of state at her parents for an extended time. I finally got irritated enough at the length of my hair that I put the #3 guard on the clippers and cut it myself. Sort of. She has used the #3 ever since.

 

[Tony in SD]

Being bald has its advantages when it comes to a bad hair day. But when I did go to a barber I had to pay the same as anyone with lots of hair. Miss Candy cuts mine now.

 

[D13series2]

I had long hair in the 70's and shoulder length in the 80's. Somewhere in the 90's I decided it was a hassle and got a crew cut.

When we got married and moved here the town had a shop with 2 barbers. My instructions were #2 comb and mow it. One guy could never get the trimming right. When they split up I followed the one that did the trimming well.

Now I'm getting bald and have a beard (I literally could not grow one in college). Still #2 and mow it. I think next year, when I turn 62 1/2, I'll have them start mowing the bear too... no one will rcognize me since I've had it for 20 years.

 

[Vito]

Interesting story. As long as its close to how its normally cut good enough. I stay with the same person most of the time. Some of my hair has gone on permanent vacation at this stage of my life.

Vito

 

[jon f mn]

I've had a few bad cuts myself. But the worst by far is my favorite. I was maybe 20 years old a d had some family thing to go to and needed a cut, but I was in a different town. This town didn't have a barber, so I stopped at a salon. There were 3 young ladies in there, and I thought it was odd when they asked me 3 times if I was sure I wanted a cut. I said yes I did, so they had me sit in the chair. The lady that cut my hair was very Dolly Parton looking, and she cut my hair by standing behind and cutting the front and standing in front to cut the back. Like ultradog I got a massage, just not with an electronic device. Lol. Was the worst hair cut of my life, but also the most fun. A few weeks later they were in the paper for being busted for prostitution.

 

[Keith Molden]

I haven't been in a barber shop for 55 years. Both my wives were beauticians and cut my hair, even when we were military. This one has been cutting it since 1972 when we got married. I never complain about the haircut, I know better after 50 years of marriage to her. LOL

 

[560Dennis]

My barber doesnt shave my neck ,good thing he likes to talk , like him

 

[Hoofer B]

Now that is funny Jon.

 

[fixerupper]

Interesting story and yes you are a good writer for sure.

Here is my story; when I was a kid dad cut my hair and it always was a butch. When Elvis and the Beatles became famous all of the guys hair got longer to impersonate those singers long mops except for me. I wanted to grow the hair longer but dad dictated that I had to have a butch. When I got a little older and could drive myself to town I started going to a barber who would cut the hair longer. I swore I would never have a butch again. The hair length code in school stated no hair could touch the ears on a guy so the hair still wasnt all that long though.

Fast forward about 30 years to the late 90s and the wheat harvest days. I had a busy spring trying to get the crops planted. At the time I was using a 6 row planter on 600 acres. The hair was getting a little shaggy but I just didnt have time for a haircut. The day after I finished planting I had to leave for Oklahoma for the harvest. Oklahoma was hot and the hair was long but we ran almost all day and night and there was no time for a haircut. By mid-June we finished Oklahoma, the next stop was Mineola Kansas. We were staying in a motel in Dodge City. The family we were cutting wheat for did not work on Sundays so we finally had a day off on a Sunday. The hair was as long as it had ever been and the weather was hot so I went to the Walmart salon and told the lady I wanted a butch! Short as you can cut it! This long hair was hot and I was tired of it. After the shear job I couldn't look at myself in the mirror for days but I could now feel the breeze on my head and besides, it was low maintenance. I never had the hair cut that short again and I probably never will but at that time the butch felt so good in the Kansas heat. Now I have it cut so it is barely long enough to be combed. Its getting thin enough now so I can feel the breeze up there no matter how long the hair is. I even have to wear a cap not to keep from getting a sunburn up on top.

This post was edited by fixerupper on 06/17/2022 at 04:58 am.

 

[moresmoke]

At least it got cut. Could have been a salon where your hair has time to grow more than they cut off.

 

[Pitch]

I have a mental block about haircuts. First my mother would line us all up and buzz our heads. me being third in line always got the red hot clippers on my head.Then at 17 I went with the USMC and was forced into another style of poor haircuts.After 4 years of white walls, no more.
Haven't had a haircut in three years. My pony tail is below my shoulder blades.
Every couple of year the wife trims the ends.
Not a fan of haircuts!

 

[1970-1655]

Always heard there is 3 hair styles, parted, unparted, and DEPARTED.

 

[PJH]

That's a very good story and a very good attitude from both of you. I hope you are filing your good stories for your descendants to find some day. This one should be in the file.

 

[Pete in MD]

If you should ever stop farming you could make a good living as a short story writer.

 

[Pete in MD]

I remember when you included a link to your web site in every post/reply you made. The picture of you sort of reminded me of David Allan Coe.

 

[Briar Hill Brittanys]

Great story. Reminded me of Tom Frossard's Barber Shoppe in Joplin, MO. Mom used to send my little brother and me there with $1.00 each. Three chairs, three barbers, and all the fishing and BS stories you could imagine. Used to terrify me to see them get the straight razor out and strop it on the leather hanging on the chair. A good dab of hot lather on the neckline, a couple of clean swipes with the razor, followed by a hot towel and that was it. The finale was a dusting of scented talc, and a piece of Bazooka bubble gum. I believe our cuts were 75 cents, we used the change to buy a Koolee at Quik Trip on our walk home.

 

[Jimmydog]

Red, I've got an example for you. Young man got a call from his friend needing help. He shows up to find his friend had killed a person in self defense. His friend panic and tried to burn the body. Now they had a mess to clean up before his parents got home. After helping move the body the young man confessed to his parents who told him to call the police and turn himself in. Which is what he did. What he should have done was hirer an attorney straight away! As it was, he was confessing to unlawfully moving a body. Confessed to a crime the police were not even aware of and might never have learned of for who knows how long. For this he served 18 months of a two year sentence. 22 or 23 years old and has felony record. Aiding and abetting after the fact. Wife worked with him and said he was one of the nicest persons you could meet

As for haircuts, I do my own, comes out looking like that Boris fellow over in the United Kingdom.
JD

 

[Old560]

Long time ago I had hair down to my shoulders. My boss told me customers didnt like it I needed to get a haircut or put it up in a hat. So I found a barber told him to give me a flat top it took him one hour to do it which I thought was crazy long. Couple months later a new guy shows up at work he was the barber that cut my hair turns out he had just gotten out of prison before he cut my hair.

 

[Crazy Horse]

Great story ..... just proof that anyone can turn things around. No picture to post for us? My dad cut my hair (unfortunately) till I went into grade 10. A loud comment from one of the cool dudes about my hair ended my dad's run .... ha! For a couple of years I visited a barber school which was not too bad. My wife has cut my hair now for about 45 years or so.

 

[INCase]

that's an interesting story.

my dad always said the difference between a good hair cut and a bad one was about 6 days.

I do my own. # 0 clipper and run it all over. well only have about 1/2 a head to worry about so its easy and doesn't take too long. Mrs uses a regular razor every so often to clean up the neck

Hopefully he didn't take your experience too bad. hope that he is truly on the way to turning around and this is a job he can do that with. we all make mistakes and if your hair cut was the worst thing to ever happen he (any of us) would be doing pretty darn good

 

[DoubleO7]

.......top???