Off topic question

[kevsdodge]

With so many guys here and the wealth of information and advice for all I ask this.
If you were to change position within a company that you worked at for 20 years and the change included a 20% pay increase but after 6 months you find you hate the position. You find the stress of the position is greater then you thought it would be. During this time you learn of two family member have cancer and that one month after you start you also are found to have type of cancer called CLL.
The question is this. Is it wrong for a person that see a opportunity to return to the position they held for 20 years that you were good at it, with very little stress and give up the 20 percent pay increase they received or is this just being selfish thinking of only yourself and not the benefits it brings your family the extra money brought in.

 

[Bobl1958]

If the stress is getting to you, I would go back immediately. Stress is what kills a lot of people. I would look at the long haul for your family, would it be better for you to make a little more money for a little while, and then stroke out and die, or a little less money and possibly live a longer life.
There are several other factors that would need to be looked into, but the main question is what will your family be without you.
Only you can decide what is best, but lot's of stress is not good.
Now, is it just a matter of learning the new position better, which may reduce stress? Again, lot's of questions to make a sound decision. Only you know the answers to the questions.
My OPINION is, if you can make a living at 20% less, and the stress is actually that much less, then it would be a no brainer. Good luck

 

[Determined]

Just a few thoughts, right or wrong I dont know.
Might want to ask yourself if the stress is from the job or the added burden caused by you and your families health issues.
Stepping down might find you in the same stressful mind set with less pay.
Everyone deals with stress there own way, could be nothing more than too much hitting you all at once, or possibly the position is just not right for you.
Being at the company 20+ years I would think you would know what the job was all about and accepted it because you knew you could do it.

 

[tomturkey]

As determined aluded to, TIME. That 20% will not buy you any more TIME. Thanks for the kind words to our fellow YTers. You will probably not read anything you have not thought about already, so the decision will be yours to make. The best to you my friend. gobble

 

[DKase]

If stepping back would relieve stress, and leave you in a more comfortable position by all means step back. Mental stress on top of a physical condition can make things many times worse. When my Wife's job became very stressful a couple years ago she had several medical symptoms show up that were never a problem before. She quit the job and walked away. Money is tight, but life is better. She was making me miserable also. I am sure your boss or supervisor will understand when you explain the situation. Once things straighten out other opportunities will develop.

 

[kris Jensen]

Stress is probably the number one killer. It shows up later manifest in may ways, one of which is cancer, other heart disease brought on by stress. It also leads to a lot of distress for others in response to your stress The extra 20 percent you take in actually might cost you upwards of 50%
If you can take the old job back, go for it, otherwise learn the new one so well that the stress vanishes. If you need the extra 20 % find a part time job, (self employed preferably, where you are your own boss) there are many ways to do it. good luck to you and Blessings Rev. kris

 

[320B]

I can tell you what I know about stress. Stress is something you either put on yourself or you allow other people to put on you.

2012 was a very stressful season for me to the point I had enough. Told the guy I work for I was gone in 2 weeks.

Long story short I didn't leave. What I did do was decide that I wasn't going to get worked up over his employ's being incompetent and not getting the work done. I told the boss that I wasn't going to work everyday just to be p**sed off.

You can't put everything on yourself and you can't allow them to put it on you. When I'm done work for the day I'M DONE. I don't think about it again until I'm back at work the next day. There are things I can't do anything about and I'm good with that NOW.

It is something you have to decide and teach yourself over and over again.

Something to keep in mind, the book the Doctor's have on the effects of stress on the body and mind is about 3" thick.

 

[Don Rudolph]

We can only offer opinions based upon our own experiences and have no idea about the financial consequences of your decision.

All that aside, I can't think of much worse than being stuck in a job that you hate, regardless of the compensation. Your family will benefit from a happier, more healthy you.

Regardless of your decision, I would like to convey my hope that you and your family's health issues improve and you find reduced stress through whatever decision you arrive at.

Good Luck,

Don

 

[Anonymous-0]

that which does not kill me only makes me stronger , was my motto as a young man trying to get ahead with my bare hands ,,. it gave way to YOU Have BIG PROBLEMS WHEN YOUR DREAMS AND GOALS ARE NOT THE SAME AS EVERYONE YOU LOVE WHO ARE NEXT TO YOU..that said , a little of my history , I worked 18 hour days as a good husband father and risin young star , only to have my heart shattered to hear from my lovely wife after 18 yrs say she was done and wanted out, that was nearly 20 yrs ago ,.today things are better , better but not perfect .. but that's life

 

[dzc3]

My Father told me once that if you live to be a 100 years old, that = 36500 days. How do you want to spend what is left? That changed my life in so many ways. Do what is important for you and your family. Don't worry about anything else. "In good times your friends will know you in bad times you will know your friends"

 

[Fry]

A very good friend and I were talking about potential promotions at my old company years ago and he said that if they give you a 20% raise, then they're going to expect 20% more work out of you. And if that work is work you hate, then you're going to be even more miserable.

I am almost 3 years into my job after 6.5 years with a different organization. And I can say that I truly love my job now and am in a much better place, emotionally and spiritually, then I was before.

The only caveat to all this is that in general you never, ever pass up a promotion because you will never be offered one again. It may not be fair or right but that seems to be the way it is. I wish you all the best with an understandably tough decision.

 

[Ken in AZ]

As a small (technology) business owner, I can tell you about stress. Short story long though, if you're not doing something you love, it ain't worth doing 'cause it'll kill you... in spirit, health, family life or possibly all.

Don't fret making a change back in your career. As I tell my crew (and kids), make the best decision you can with what you know at the time. If you learn something as you go, you can change your mind. Just learn from it and get better at it.

Hope this helps

Ken in AZ

 

[Gary from Iowa]

Kevsdodge - You have received a lot of good advise from the people on this form and not too much to add. One thing that I would do is to take a pen and paper and write down what you hate, as you stated, about the new position. You have to be honest with your self. Next, write down what you feel is causing the stress. Next, read over what you wrote down and then put it aside for 24 hours. After 24 hours, read it again and see if you still feel the same about what you put down on paper. If you do, you can be pertty sure that things are not going to change unless you make the change. If you don't agree, then there may be other reasons causing these feelings or emotions. Only you will know what they are. Good luck and for some, asking for some help from above at least makes one feel a little better.

 

[4x4stude]

I was in the same boat about 13 years ago. I stepped down from my Supervisory position back into my Maintenance/Millright position. The company kept me at the same Supervisor pay. You never know. I wouldn't expect that, but it was a nice surprise.

I just told my step son last weekend that more money isn't going to make you like your job. Besides, you may end up spending the extra money that you are making at the Doctors office. Not worth it. Make yourself happy. Life is too dang short.

Zane

 

[axe55]

Why work a job you cant stand? money is worth it.. Go back to the job you liked. I worked the same job for 26 years (head trainer for idoc k9 unit) I was offered promotions , more money . I turned them down, I didnt need the stress, travel etc...some in those positions ended up in divorce.. , family comes first . I had a heart attack at at age 50.....if it was me, I would be at the old job already... good luck hope everything goes well. John

 

[Doc Larry]

I found out the hard way that if you aren"t happy with your job, your family won"t be happy being with you.

 

[Stephen Newell]

Really you are the only one that could answer that question. My thoughts are is you employer good with you returning to the other position? I did that once pretty much against the employers wishes and they made my life miserable. I finally had to quit and work elsewhere.

 

[McKerrow630]

Kev, I just finshed reading all the postings. As always good stuff to ponder. I guess it boils down to whats in your heart. Only you can answer what you need to do. Stress in life will kill you one way or another. So the best I can offer you is the power of pray. God Bless