Am I wrong in this respect?

[Anonymous-0]

Yesterday a neighbor stopped in and borrowed a socket and ratchet to change the wheel bearings in the front of a Blazer. We stood in my garage and he was hinting that he wished he had a heated garage to work in. I deflected the statement. But it was implied that I should have offered to him to use my garage. A little background. I built this 36' X 48' polebarn over the course of 3 years as I had time and money. The only things I had help with on it were setting the trusses and putting the steel on the roof. The concrete floor in the garage area I formed all up and wanted help with, but even offering $10.00 per hour cash and beer on a Saturday I couldn't get any help. I had a friend who is a concrete contractor pour it. All the finishing work inside and out including wiring, heat system installation and hanging the doors and power operators I did alone.
Now am I wrong in thinking that I should not have to provide the people who were to busy to help for a few hours (and for cash no less), a warm dry place to work? That's why I made the investment for me to have a warm dry place to work after 30 years of working outside in all kinds of weather.

 

[Yugrotcart]

I agree with your logic. Where was your neighbour when you needed help?
Sucks for someone to try to take advantage of you.

Paul

 

[case441]

I use my friends big fully equiped garage once or twice a year with his permission and always leave a 30 pack of Labatts Blue when I leave. He won't take money. Works for him works for me.

 

[Bob - MI]

Your neighbor is a "user". Heck yes I would like to have someone give me a warm place to do my work and by the way let me use his tools as well. My problem is that I don't like borrowing anything and would never dream of asking or hinting to someone that I would like to use their buildings.

You are right on with your feelings and you are getting confirmation that your neighbor is inconsiderate and self-centered. The kind of guy who will drink your beer and never seem to have any of his own to share with you.

 

[thurlow]

Except for my brother (we use stuff inter-changeably, with no thought of 'keeping score'), I'm not a fan of loaning anything; it leads to trouble. I've always had 2 or more.......operating.......chainsaws and folks are often wanting to borrow one. After 2 bad experiences, I have a solution. I've got an old 360 Homelite, which looks pretty good, but which hasn't run in years; when someone wants to borrow a saw, I say, "Sure, take this one". That usually ends their borrowing from me.

 

[Anonymous-0]

I agree with you. I remember several years ago seemed like all my friends were moving and needed help. I helped them all move and you know how many showed up when I moved? ZERO. Same thing for trading weekends with coworkers. I had traded with every person in my department so they could attend events. One weekend I had a terrible cold and felt like I could die. I asked everyone if they would trade. Know how many said yes? ZERO. I know how you feel.

 

[Anonymous-0]

If you voted for the current change, you're a hypocrit. If not, you can sleep well. No since in asking how your neighbor leaned.


Dave

 

[Welding man]

My feelings are, if you can't afford to pay me to do the work, you probably can't afford to pay me, if you loose or break my tools. I don't loan my tools, my shop, my vehicles or my wife. I've got too much time and money invested in all of them.

 

[IH2444]

No good deed goes unpunished.

 

[37ar]

being a contractor people always want to use my tools. i just tell then i don"t borrow the tools that i use to support my family that usually does the trick.

 

[Anonymous-0]

I got a neighbor that borrows stuff quite a bit and forgets he has it. He don't mean any harm, just not the sharpest knife in the drawer. If I need it back I just ask him if I can borrow it. works out good cause he forgets I have it also.


Dave

 

[paul]

That's funny.

Yea, I'd like a heated shop to work in too. Hey, where does the original poster live????

I really hate borrowing things, and I really hate lending them out. Just me.

If it were my shop, it would be too full to fit any one else's stuff in it.

--->Paul

 

[Anonymous-0]

There is a lot of truth in the children story of the barnyard chicken making bread.

 

[greygoat]

I agree with RusselAZi
Nobody wanted to help cut the wheat, thrash the
wheat, grind the flour, or bake the bread---
but they all wanted to eat a slice.
I have the same problem, others have wanted to
use my heated shop, for a few hours to "a day or
2", but nobody wants to help cut or split wood,
though many would, if they could, borrow and
abuse my wood splitter.

 

[Anonymous-0]

dave2 You keep bring up the fact that voting for a change being external_link was a bad thing, how much of a Hypocrit are you for supporting a system that drove our ecomony in the ground, moreover, McCain tried to Steal the Change concept on his side, which makes him a hypocrit just like his followers,

Those who don't want to support our American way should be moving to the Arab side, just wear a rag on your head and bow when they say too

 

[Anonymous-0]

That's a good one === when any one ask's me to borrow anything, being cash, I say, do I look like a Bank? or if it's a tool, do I look like a Rental shop ?
and if it's my wife, the cash payment comes first, like any good pimp...

 

[Anonymous-0]

I would not lend him the tools either
I have a sign in my shop over my work bench that says.

I will lend you my dog but not my tools.
The dog knows his way back home.

I do have a couple of good neighbors that I have lent tools or parts but I also have borrowed from them and we all aways return to the owner.

 

[NcNE]

I have the same kind of agreement with a friend of mine. He has a 24' flatbed trailer that he doesnt use very often and I have a livestock trailer that I dont use very often. We trade back and fourth and it works out pretty well but I could easily see how people can get burned on borrowing though.

 

[Goose]

You find out who your friends really are when you have concrete to pour.

I was once in a salvage yard in Ontario, California. They had a large sign behind the counter that proclaimed, "TOOLS LOANED FREE". In fine print at the bottom it said, "However, one of our technicians goes along at the usual hourly rate".

That struck me as being a rather astute policy.

 

[Stan in Oly, WA]

Hi F-150,

Since you have 100% consensus here about not letting your neighbor(s) take advantage of you, it might be interesting to go a little farther with the question. Maybe the issue here ought to be whether we should come right out and tell our non-reciprocating neighbors, co-workers, family members, etc. why they can't borrow our stuff.

We all know that when the previously unavailable person is refused the use of your tools or your facilities he isn't going to think, "Well, I guess that serves me right for not helping when help was needed." He's going to tell himself that you're stingy and unneighborly, and vow that in the future he's going to purposely not do anything to help you (as opposed to not helping you without really thinking about it.)

If you were to say something like, "The shop is exclusively for my use since I had to do all the work on it myself when I could have really used some help," or "you wouldn't have to work out in the weather if you built a shop all by yourself the way I had to," your neighbor would be just as mad at you--much madder, probably--but at least it would be for the right reason instead of the one he gets to make up and convince himself is the case.

Well, it's just a fantasy, of course. Those of us with enough brass to look people right in the eye and speak the unvarnished truth on every occasion already don't have any friendships we have to worry about damaging.

You were right not to let your neighbor take advantage of you. When you let yourself be embarrassed into doing a favor for an undeserving person, they feel good and you feel bad. When you refuse, they feel bad but you feel bad, too. That at least comes closer to the fairest outcome, which is that you wouldn't feel bad about it at all.

All the best, Stan

 

[Old Ford Mechanic]

Maybe i'm just kind hearted.And my wife thinks sometimes that friends take advantage of me when i not only let them use the shop but,i also usually either help them or wind up doing it for them.But i do have rules such as no tools leaving the shop and if jacks and such are being used for lifting,i try to be there to make sure they use jack stands and safety equiptment.The last thing i need is someone being crushed under a vehicle.I don't let anyone work alone in my shop.But i do sometimes let friends use it to work on an automobile.And just for small repairs such as brake pads and shoes,waterpumps and such.I make part of my living working on tractors so,no free rides there.No really bad experiences yet with this policy so i guess i will continue being free hearted.

 

[Anonymous-0]

(quoted from post at 11:01:49 02/08/09) Those who don't want to support our American way should be moving to the Arab side, just wear a rag on your head and bow when they say too

Put down the crack pipe and walk away sir.....................



Dave

 

[BLinWMI]

Some people are so clueless. Part of the idea of the big change coming was that we were going to take from the people who were successful and give to the ones who hadn't achieved that success. The Messiah made the mistake of admitting that to Joes the plumber. It very typical that a abundant won't understand the idea that what we worked for is OURS, not the governments to distribute as it deems fit.

 

[Spook]

I plow out my neighbor's drives, help with some projects. Pretty much works out. I have had a couple instances of people not reciprocating, but I have had many more positive experiences. I guess It depends on what kind of neighbor's ya got. I have been pretty fortunate.

 

[John730D]

Ya know, I've read all the responses and I must be the odd man out. I have let people use my tractors, backhoes, and any other tools they needed. I have even let them use my garage or shed if it helped them out. I never expected anything in return and I was not disappointed. I very seldom get anything back in return.

Have I been taken advantage of? HECK YES! Do I mind? Maybe a little. All I know is total strangers have helped get my butt out of the sling many times.

Maybe I am just a softy, but it's my way of "Paying It Forward"

And maybe it's just the area of the country that I live in.

 

[Anonymous-0]

I hate being a borrower. My wife, on the other hand, hates it when I spend money on a tool that I may only use occasionally. She thinks I should be able to go to friends and neighbors, hat in hand, every time I need a tool I don't have. I think it makes me look like a bum. But then, I don't have to sleep under the same roof with the neighbors and friends, I sleep under the same roof with my wife. Better that the friends and neighbors get upset, when you strip everything else away. After all, self-respect is just ego, when compared with the prospects of having peace at home.

And it's just possible that your neighbor is somebody like me.

 

[Cas]

I used to let neighbors use my heated shop.
This stopped suddenly when one fellow got
hurt working on his equipment in my shop.
I am getting sued over his stupidity and the
law suit is now pending.

 

[Anonymous-0]

he maybe your messiah, but he's not mine,

it's a good thing to take from the Rich and give to the poor, after all, that's where the rich got it from --- ha ha ha ha ha ha

 

[Anonymous-0]

You could have told him that for $20,000 or what ever, he could build a nice shop like yours. Does he ever let you borrow his stuff or help you out? A good neighbor can be hard to find. My current neighbor is great and I'd help him out anytime because I know he will help me if I need it. I've had tons of people take advantage of me over the years. Some people would just come and help themselfs to borrow my stuff. Then when I see it at their place, they claim it's not mine. They did that with my 30' tape measure. I saw it on the bench and took it when they weren't around. How'd I know it was mine? I had scratched my initials in the chrome on the back of it. Not real noticable but still there. I had another guy who I did a bunch of aluminum welding fixing a couple of his fuel tanks on trucks. I bought a small track loader that needed some work and drove by his place to show it to him. I left it outside at his place because I needed my trailer for something else. He told me I should leave there. I came back the next day and he had put it in his shop and started taking it apart. He told me to just work on it there. I did the welding for him and even some more welding and other stuff for him. After I got it fixed, he charged me $300. He put my machine in his shop, made no mention of charging me and after saving him at least $300 on welding, out of the blue charges me $300 for use of the shop. I couldn't even turn all the lights on in the shop. They were flourescent lights and the shop was 40 x 60. I had to work in very low light. Someone helps me and I'll help them. There's too many people that figure they can borrow what ever they want from you but if you want to borrow something of theirs, they really need it or can't find it or another neighbor borrowed it. No end to excuses. No, you weren't wrong at all! If the guy that helped put the trusses up needed a shop for a couple hours, then I'd say sure. Dave

 

[Anonymous-0]

You're right about that. I had a guy who used to come over just to ride are snowmobiles. He actually asked if he rolls it and breaks the windshield or hood if he has to pay for it! I had to tell this guy off eventually. He's the same guy I went to a MX races with and let him use my bike several times because he sent his suspension away to be worked on. I had a minor problem and couldn't use my bike and asked if I could borrow his for one moto. He said he doesn't loan his bike! I borrowed a bike from the pro who was leading in the provincial points series. Another guy asked me if he should beat up the guy that wouldn't let me use his bike after he used mine several times. Too many freeloaders out there. Dave

 

[Anonymous-0]

You took the words right out my mouth. I have 3 neighbors with in shouting/ seeing distance. Only one of them and my dad is welcome in my building. Neighbor, Larry, can use anything he likes ( the old lady too ) wink! The other 2 don't even get in the door.

 

[ScottyHOMeY]

That's a touchy one and folks have covered a lot of angles on it.

I live in Maine, where a heated garage can be a wonderful thing. Only mine isn't and my neighbor, Dave's is.

We have a good arrangement, where we kind of get in on each other's projects and help each other out and nobody is keepin' track of how much time who owes to whom. (So to start with, it's not like your case having to put up your garage alone.) And I hae a key to his garage.

And for the most part I can can do most of what I want to do in my own garage, but every now and then comes the job where the heat is just going to make the difference in getting it done or not, and sometimes the job just needs to be done.

My heating oil suppliers have a standing order that before their first delivery every fall, they should call a couple days ahead, so I can make arrangements for them to drop 50 gallons into Dave's tank. And if he/we start coming up short on oil later in the winter, I'll chip in, whether because I've been in there working or simply because I enjoy having it livably warm when I'm over providing adult supervision to some project of his.

But he suffers from the same thing, having folks show up wanting to use his heated space, and then abusing his hospitality. It's not just a matter of the cost of the heat, but also of Dave's evening time with the family, when most of them show up. It's not like he lives in his garage.

So I'd think "rent" for the space might be not in order for the occasional guy with whom you might swap out favors anyway. For those who impose, assume . . . that's another matter entirely. I'll do a favor for anybody, but if they come to expect it . . . they'd best bring a 5-gallon can of heating oil with 'em . . .

 

[Anonymous-0]

I'm surprised at the number of responses to this thread, but then again I suppose everybody's been there. The guy that helped me with the trusses and steel is a good neighbor and he has free access to what I have, including the shop. Many times something he needs done I will do with his help as I have the experience with the equipment. He's a mechanic so vehicle repairs are his game. Metal fabricating is mine. Last winter he got a whole plow rig built on his old Dodge to mount up the Hiniker plow from his wrecked Chevy, I got new ball joints installed in my F-150. A few weeks ago I got home from work at midnight and my driveway was all plowed out, he got home the next afternoon and his icy driveway was all covered with non-skid, That's pretty much how things work out. Another neighbor had me come up with the backhoe and dig out around his well head, a week later he rollbacked a truck home for me. The new neighbor across the road needed some welding repairs done on the hay ring for his horses, no problem and I got to take a leisurely stroll thru his woods over the mountain which I had not been allowed to do since I was a kid. The other neighbor on the other hand is not a bad neighbor, just a non-engaged neighbor.

 

[Anonymous-0]

what you smoke'n Dave,,, you didn't post all of my message, what you afraid of ????

 

[Charles (in GA)]

I try to not let people know what I have, that way, they won't ask to borrow it or use it. I have a neighbor or two that on that rare occasion when they need something, I'll loan it, I'll get it back. Let someone use my shop for auto work? I don't think so, I would be the one to clean up the mess. I'm paranoid of even one drop of oil or grease on the concrete, it soaks right in. Someday I'll get the money to put a good paint/epoxy finish on it. For now, I keep lots of large pieces of cardboard on hand to put under stuff when I'm working. I have one friend who keeps his airplane at my place. He works on it here, but I end up going around cleaning up the oil spots, the paint drips, the grease ground in. Luckily it only happens about once a year that he does major mess work on it. Beyond that, no one gets to use the place.

Charles

 

[bison]

They say,"the more you give the more you recieve" Well its gotten to the point that I believe " the more you give the more they come back to take" is more in line with people today.

I have'nt got a single friend left because of it, as they all walked the same one way street in the end. And I am not one to beat around the bush and when i told them how i felt they quit coming

I'll will still help the occasional person out,but i don't expect notting in return no more.

 

[bizkit]

well man i can;t tell u ur wrong or wright im no better thane u r when u lay down tonight if u can sleep with it then fine

 

[Don-Wi]

My dad got screwed like that once. A neighbor u the road and my dad teamed up one year to bet the corn off. Dad went with the 285, fox chopper, and Rex wagon and helped him get his corn off, and he came with his equipment and helped dad chop his.

A few weeks later Dad got a bill in the mail... Dad went and told him what he thought, tore up the bill and left. Still dealt with each other once in a while, but never did feildwork together again. Turns out he died while my brother and his son were in High School together.(same age)

Donovan from Wisconsin

 

[fixerupper]

I have pretty much quit letting people use my shop. I am more than willing to help people because others have helped me in the past. But, darn it, they don't seem to know how to clean up after themselves and they seem to think their used parts and garbage are some kind of gift to me. Nuff said! Jim

 

[JBMac]

Thanks to my five month old "deduction", I'm getting a refund this year! For once in my life, I will be getting a concrete floor in my barn to work on. My father in law is my only nearby neighbor. Over the years, I've seen several people banned from his shop. He has three rules: Take your old parts and oil with you, dont put his tools back greasy, and if you dont know where something goes, leave it on the welding table for him to put it in the right place. He's a retired welder on nuclear power plants, so he's pretty particular.....

 

[Spotted Horse]

(quoted from post at 13:55:21 02/08/09) I hate being a borrower. My wife, on the other hand, hates it when I spend money on a tool that I may only use occasionally. She thinks I should be able to go to friends and neighbors, hat in hand, every time I need a tool I don't have. I think it makes me look like a bum. But then, I don't have to sleep under the same roof with the neighbors and friends, I sleep under the same roof with my wife. Better that the friends and neighbors get upset, when you strip everything else away. After all, self-respect is just ego, when compared with the prospects of having peace at home.

And it's just possible that your neighbor is somebody like me.

Well it's obvious "who wears the pants" in your family. :roll:

Does your wife loan her cooking utensils ("tools") out to other wives in your neighborhood?

"Grow a pair,"... and buy your own tools (or, at least go to a tool rental), instead of being a sissyfied freeloading wimp.

 

[Anonymous-0]

(quoted from post at 13:55:21 02/08/09) I After all, self-respect is just ego, when compared with the prospects of having peace at home.

And it's just possible that your neighbor is somebody like me.

Sad but probably true.... That's why our country is in the shape it's in.............

Dave

 

[Bill in IL]

I would say no you are not wrong. A heated shop is a wonderful thing that we work very hard to have and it all comes with a price. If he wants to use it he better be thinking of how he can repay (with a little labor) in the future.

 

[Kevin2]

My neighbor hasn't said squat to me in the 13 years since I moved here, we get along fine!

I don't lend anything out anymore. 15 years ago I would lend my spare car out for weeks at a time, and help fix everyone's stuff. Had tons of friends, it seemed like. Now I only got 3 friends after the freebies stopped, go figure!

 

[Brian Jasper co. Ia]

It's ok to take from the rich to give to the poor because that's where they got it from? Every poor person I've known never had anything to take.
Life is what you make of it. If you choose to not go to school past high school or even complete high school, don't be surprised when you can't find more than a job stocking shelves at Wal-Mart. Those of us who chose to get a post high school education earn more because we're worth more because we learned skills that are in demand. Some folks with no post high school education chose to become rich by taking some ambition and putting in sweat equity. How does that make rich people deserving to be taken from?

 

[Anonymous-0]

Just like when I built my house.I had a guy that is 85 years old come to the farm to hunt rabbets.We are talking about the house as I was loading 2x4's onto the deck to frame the walls.Old Ed says "John anytime you need help just let me know and I'll come help.I said,Well Ed,these 2x4's need to get up on this deck.Ed's reply was Oh,I don't have time today".Now I really did not think he would help,and,I did care,but,the I don't have time today did surprize me.I was only joking,so,I guess the joke was on me.

 

[Hills of TN]

My uncle had a unique way of responding to would-be tool borrowers. His theory was to ask if they had enough money to repair/replace the tool if they broke it. If they replied no, he would tell them he didn"t either - so he couldn"t take the risk. If they replied yes, he would tell them that now would be the time to take that money and buy their own tool so they would have it when they needed it.

He had no problem swapping labor and/or tools with his friends, but never approved of it being a one-way street.

 

[Anonymous-0]

What a sissy.

 

[Anonymous-0]

You are right on about this cowardly, wimpy, hen-pecked sissy. Bet he wears ruffled drawers.

 

[Ron in Nebr]

Hey, this isn't the same "bizkit" thats on some of the racing forums is it???

 

[bog]

We have an old saying in the Army. Trust you with my gun and my life, but not my money or wife. It has always seemed to work out well in the real world too.

 

[Anonymous-0]

Generally, I agree with you guys, but for me it would also depend on how cold it is. If it was miserably cold and he was broke down I'd even help him fix it.

There is always going to be someone around who is better off than I am and someone else who is worse off. Life is way too short to envy the one and dump on the other.