you may have read this before but it is worth a 2nd or 3rd time, as it gets funnier every time.
don't know why.
but it posted
way
way
down here
keep looking, your gettin warmer.
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Austin
Hunt In: Texas Received this today thought it was funny
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"If you don't stand for something, you will fall for anything."
-----------Archery------------
Around age 10 my dad got me one of those little bad-*** compound bow beginner kits. Of course, the first month I went around our land sticking arrows in anything that could get stuck by an arrow. Did you know that a 1955 40 horse Farmall tractor tire will take 6 rounds before it goes down?
Tough sumbich..
That got boring, so being the 10 yr. old Dukes of Hazard fan that I was, I quickly advanced to taking strips of cut up T-shirt doused in chainsaw gas tied around the end and was sending flaming arrows all over the place. One summer afternoon, I was shooting flaming arrows into a large rotten oak stump in our backyard. I looked over under the carport and see a shiny brand new can of starting fluid (Ether). The light bulb went off in my head...
I grabbed the can and set it on the stump. I thought that it would probably just spray out in a disappointing manner. Lets face it, to a 10 yr old mouth-breather like myself, (Ether), really doesn't "sound" flammable.
So, I went back into the house and got a 1 pound can of pyrodex (black
powder for muzzle loader rifles).
At this point, I set the can of ether on the stump and opened up the can of black powder. My intentions were to sprinkle a little bit around the
(Ether) can but it all sorta dumped out on me. No biggie, a 1 lb. pyrodex and 16 oz (Ether) should make a loud pop, kinda like a firecracker you know?
You know what? Screw that I'm going back in the house for the other can.
Yes, I got a second can of pyrodex and dumped it too. Now we're cookin'.
I stepped back about 15 ft and lit the 2 stroke arrow. I drew the nock to my cheek and took aim. As I released I heard a clunk as the arrow launched from my bow. In a slow motion time frame, I turned to see my dad getting out of the truck... OH S--T! He just got home from work. So help me God it took 10 minutes for that arrow to go from my bow to the can. My dad was walking towards me in slow motion with a *** look in his eyes. I turned back towards my target just in time to see the arrow
pierce the starting fluid can right at the bottom. Right through the main pile of pyrodex and into the can. Oh S--t.
When the shock wave hit it knocked me off my feet. I don't know if it was the actual compression wave that threw me back or just reflex jerk back from 235 fricking decibels of sound. I caught a half a millisecond glimpse of the violence during the initial explosion and I will tell you there was dust, grass, and bugs all hovering 1 ft above the ground as far as I could see. It was like a little low to the ground layer of dust fog full of grasshoppers, spiders, and a worm or two.
The daylight turned purple. Let me repeat this... THE FRICKING DAYLIGHT TURNED PURPLE.
There was a big sweetgum tree out by the gate going into the pasture.
Notice I said "was". That son-of-a-b--ch got up and ran off..
So here I am, on the ground blown completely out of my shoes with my
thundercats T-Shirt shredded, my dad is on the other side of the carport
having what I can only assume is a Vietnam flashback: ECHO BRAVO CHARLIE YOU'RE BRInGIN' EM IN TOO CLOSE!! CEASE FIRE. **** IT CEASE FIRE!!!!!
His hat has blown off and is 30 ft behind him in the driveway. All windows on the north side of the house are blown out and there is a slow rolling mushroom cloud about 2000 ft. over our backyard. There is a Honda 185 3-wheeler parked on the other side of the yard and the fenders are drooped down and are now touching the tires.
I wish I knew what I said to my dad at this moment. I don't know - I know I said something. I couldn't hear. I couldn't hear inside my own head. I don't think he heard me either... not that it would really matter. I don't remember much from this point on. I said something, felt a sharp pain, and then woke up later. I felt a sharp pain, blacked out, woke later....repeat this process for an hour or so and you get the idea. I remember at one point my mom had to give me CPR. and Dad screaming "Bring him back to life so I can kill him again". Thanks Mom.
One thing is for sure... I never had to mow around that stump again, Mom had been bitching about that thing for years and dad never did anything about it. I stepped up to the plate and handled business.
Dad sold his muzzle loader a week or so later. I still have some sort of bone growth abnormality, either from the blast or the beating, or both.
I guess what I'm trying to say is, get your kids into archery. It's good
discipline and will teach them skills they can use later on in life.
segbert
View Public Profile
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12-20-2011, 07:59 PM #2
deer99hunter
Ten Point
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Mauriceville
Hunt In: Fredericksburg,Newton, Michigan
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
oh my God my gut hurts !!!!!!
deer99hunter
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12-20-2011, 08:10 PM #3
sports
Four Point
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Danbury
Hunt In: Centerville
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sitting in the trailer out hunting with kids. Laughing so hard the trailer was shaking
sports
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12-20-2011, 08:13 PM #4
buckybill
Eight Point
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: waxahachie,texas
Hunt In: goldwaite
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Oh my I'm laughing so hard tears are streaming down my face. The girlfriend just walked in asking what's wrong.
buckybill
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12-20-2011, 08:18 PM #5
JayKen86
Four Point
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Webster, Tx
Hunt In: leon county, washington county, public land, nebraska
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
This was a post on tbh a couple months ago. Cant remember who posted it but it is hilarious!
JayKen86
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12-20-2011, 08:22 PM #6
fizzle
Four Point
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Magnolia, TX
Hunt In: Nebraska,Kansas, Kentucky
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Absolutely hilarious!!!!!! I like the "handling of business" line!!
fizzle
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12-20-2011, 08:27 PM #7
hully1029
Ten Point
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Whitesboro, TX
Hunt In: Grayson Co
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
wow... between this and the story of trying to rope a deer.... ill have bedtime stories for my son for a while!!
hully1029
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12-20-2011, 08:47 PM #8
TexasII
Eight Point
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: San Antonio
Hunt In: Medina, Kerr, Atascosa, Bandera
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
That's just too funny!
TexasII
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12-20-2011, 09:05 PM #9
Eskimo2
Ten Point
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Haltom City
Hunt In: N. Texas & wherever i get the chance
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Jeez! I've got to go get my ribs fixed.
Eskimo2
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12-20-2011, 09:20 PM #10
Reaper33
Eight Point
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Rowlett, TX
Hunt In: Coke County, Cooper, Lavon
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
lmao thats funny. But i think this is why my parents didnt give me a bow at an early age. And they still had to deal with me setting the field on fire across from my house and burning myself more times i could count. Can imagine if they gave me something i could shoot fire out of
Reaper33
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12-20-2011, 09:21 PM #11
lil jimmy
Four Point
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Alvin, Tx
Hunt In: Leakey, Laredo
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Had to share this one with my wife. We are both still laughing!
lil jimmy
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12-20-2011, 09:32 PM #12
warren86
Six Point
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: crowley
Hunt In: whitney c.o.e
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
That is too funny and I thought I was bad as a kid
warren86
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12-20-2011, 09:37 PM #13
Bigboss
Eight Point
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Brock,TX
Hunt In: Menard County
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ouch my sides hurt...too funny.
Bigboss
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12-20-2011, 09:41 PM #14
Lonebowyer
Six Point
Join Date: Apr 2010
Hunt In: Comanche County, TX; North Dakota
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Read that a couple of years ago. It makes me laugh every time.
Lonebowyer
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12-20-2011, 09:56 PM #15
Barbara
Four Point
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: San Antonio
Hunt In: Atascosa County
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
That was hilarious. I have tears streaming down my face and had to have my husband read it. I knew we were in trouble when we bought our 10 year old son a bow and arrows with Lumenoks and he hit a target when we were camping. He was excited and had a great time. Time to hide the reloading powder.
Barbara
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12-20-2011, 09:59 PM #16
brzo23
Ten Point
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Victoria, TX
Hunt In: DeWitt County, Kinney County
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Haha I'm laughing my head off right now! I can only imagine!!
brzo23
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12-20-2011, 10:18 PM #17
texas_red_19
Four Point
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: tomball
Hunt In: leon county
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
yeah i got tears down my face and my cheeks hurt
texas_red_19
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don't know why.
but it posted
way
way
down here
keep looking, your gettin warmer.
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Austin
Hunt In: Texas Received this today thought it was funny
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"If you don't stand for something, you will fall for anything."
-----------Archery------------
Around age 10 my dad got me one of those little bad-*** compound bow beginner kits. Of course, the first month I went around our land sticking arrows in anything that could get stuck by an arrow. Did you know that a 1955 40 horse Farmall tractor tire will take 6 rounds before it goes down?
Tough sumbich..
That got boring, so being the 10 yr. old Dukes of Hazard fan that I was, I quickly advanced to taking strips of cut up T-shirt doused in chainsaw gas tied around the end and was sending flaming arrows all over the place. One summer afternoon, I was shooting flaming arrows into a large rotten oak stump in our backyard. I looked over under the carport and see a shiny brand new can of starting fluid (Ether). The light bulb went off in my head...
I grabbed the can and set it on the stump. I thought that it would probably just spray out in a disappointing manner. Lets face it, to a 10 yr old mouth-breather like myself, (Ether), really doesn't "sound" flammable.
So, I went back into the house and got a 1 pound can of pyrodex (black
powder for muzzle loader rifles).
At this point, I set the can of ether on the stump and opened up the can of black powder. My intentions were to sprinkle a little bit around the
(Ether) can but it all sorta dumped out on me. No biggie, a 1 lb. pyrodex and 16 oz (Ether) should make a loud pop, kinda like a firecracker you know?
You know what? Screw that I'm going back in the house for the other can.
Yes, I got a second can of pyrodex and dumped it too. Now we're cookin'.
I stepped back about 15 ft and lit the 2 stroke arrow. I drew the nock to my cheek and took aim. As I released I heard a clunk as the arrow launched from my bow. In a slow motion time frame, I turned to see my dad getting out of the truck... OH S--T! He just got home from work. So help me God it took 10 minutes for that arrow to go from my bow to the can. My dad was walking towards me in slow motion with a *** look in his eyes. I turned back towards my target just in time to see the arrow
pierce the starting fluid can right at the bottom. Right through the main pile of pyrodex and into the can. Oh S--t.
When the shock wave hit it knocked me off my feet. I don't know if it was the actual compression wave that threw me back or just reflex jerk back from 235 fricking decibels of sound. I caught a half a millisecond glimpse of the violence during the initial explosion and I will tell you there was dust, grass, and bugs all hovering 1 ft above the ground as far as I could see. It was like a little low to the ground layer of dust fog full of grasshoppers, spiders, and a worm or two.
The daylight turned purple. Let me repeat this... THE FRICKING DAYLIGHT TURNED PURPLE.
There was a big sweetgum tree out by the gate going into the pasture.
Notice I said "was". That son-of-a-b--ch got up and ran off..
So here I am, on the ground blown completely out of my shoes with my
thundercats T-Shirt shredded, my dad is on the other side of the carport
having what I can only assume is a Vietnam flashback: ECHO BRAVO CHARLIE YOU'RE BRInGIN' EM IN TOO CLOSE!! CEASE FIRE. **** IT CEASE FIRE!!!!!
His hat has blown off and is 30 ft behind him in the driveway. All windows on the north side of the house are blown out and there is a slow rolling mushroom cloud about 2000 ft. over our backyard. There is a Honda 185 3-wheeler parked on the other side of the yard and the fenders are drooped down and are now touching the tires.
I wish I knew what I said to my dad at this moment. I don't know - I know I said something. I couldn't hear. I couldn't hear inside my own head. I don't think he heard me either... not that it would really matter. I don't remember much from this point on. I said something, felt a sharp pain, and then woke up later. I felt a sharp pain, blacked out, woke later....repeat this process for an hour or so and you get the idea. I remember at one point my mom had to give me CPR. and Dad screaming "Bring him back to life so I can kill him again". Thanks Mom.
One thing is for sure... I never had to mow around that stump again, Mom had been bitching about that thing for years and dad never did anything about it. I stepped up to the plate and handled business.
Dad sold his muzzle loader a week or so later. I still have some sort of bone growth abnormality, either from the blast or the beating, or both.
I guess what I'm trying to say is, get your kids into archery. It's good
discipline and will teach them skills they can use later on in life.
segbert
View Public Profile
Find More Posts by segbert
12-20-2011, 07:59 PM #2
deer99hunter
Ten Point
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Mauriceville
Hunt In: Fredericksburg,Newton, Michigan
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
oh my God my gut hurts !!!!!!
deer99hunter
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12-20-2011, 08:10 PM #3
sports
Four Point
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Danbury
Hunt In: Centerville
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sitting in the trailer out hunting with kids. Laughing so hard the trailer was shaking
sports
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12-20-2011, 08:13 PM #4
buckybill
Eight Point
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: waxahachie,texas
Hunt In: goldwaite
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Oh my I'm laughing so hard tears are streaming down my face. The girlfriend just walked in asking what's wrong.
buckybill
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12-20-2011, 08:18 PM #5
JayKen86
Four Point
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Webster, Tx
Hunt In: leon county, washington county, public land, nebraska
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
This was a post on tbh a couple months ago. Cant remember who posted it but it is hilarious!
JayKen86
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12-20-2011, 08:22 PM #6
fizzle
Four Point
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Magnolia, TX
Hunt In: Nebraska,Kansas, Kentucky
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Absolutely hilarious!!!!!! I like the "handling of business" line!!
fizzle
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12-20-2011, 08:27 PM #7
hully1029
Ten Point
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Whitesboro, TX
Hunt In: Grayson Co
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
wow... between this and the story of trying to rope a deer.... ill have bedtime stories for my son for a while!!
hully1029
View Public Profile
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12-20-2011, 08:47 PM #8
TexasII
Eight Point
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: San Antonio
Hunt In: Medina, Kerr, Atascosa, Bandera
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
That's just too funny!
TexasII
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12-20-2011, 09:05 PM #9
Eskimo2
Ten Point
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Haltom City
Hunt In: N. Texas & wherever i get the chance
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Jeez! I've got to go get my ribs fixed.
Eskimo2
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12-20-2011, 09:20 PM #10
Reaper33
Eight Point
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Rowlett, TX
Hunt In: Coke County, Cooper, Lavon
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
lmao thats funny. But i think this is why my parents didnt give me a bow at an early age. And they still had to deal with me setting the field on fire across from my house and burning myself more times i could count. Can imagine if they gave me something i could shoot fire out of
Reaper33
View Public Profile
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12-20-2011, 09:21 PM #11
lil jimmy
Four Point
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Alvin, Tx
Hunt In: Leakey, Laredo
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Had to share this one with my wife. We are both still laughing!
lil jimmy
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12-20-2011, 09:32 PM #12
warren86
Six Point
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: crowley
Hunt In: whitney c.o.e
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
That is too funny and I thought I was bad as a kid
warren86
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12-20-2011, 09:37 PM #13
Bigboss
Eight Point
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Brock,TX
Hunt In: Menard County
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ouch my sides hurt...too funny.
Bigboss
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12-20-2011, 09:41 PM #14
Lonebowyer
Six Point
Join Date: Apr 2010
Hunt In: Comanche County, TX; North Dakota
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Read that a couple of years ago. It makes me laugh every time.
Lonebowyer
View Public Profile
Find More Posts by Lonebowyer
12-20-2011, 09:56 PM #15
Barbara
Four Point
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: San Antonio
Hunt In: Atascosa County
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
That was hilarious. I have tears streaming down my face and had to have my husband read it. I knew we were in trouble when we bought our 10 year old son a bow and arrows with Lumenoks and he hit a target when we were camping. He was excited and had a great time. Time to hide the reloading powder.
Barbara
View Public Profile
Find More Posts by Barbara
12-20-2011, 09:59 PM #16
brzo23
Ten Point
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Victoria, TX
Hunt In: DeWitt County, Kinney County
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Haha I'm laughing my head off right now! I can only imagine!!
brzo23
View Public Profile
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12-20-2011, 10:18 PM #17
texas_red_19
Four Point
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: tomball
Hunt In: leon county
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
yeah i got tears down my face and my cheeks hurt
texas_red_19
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« Previous Thread | Next Thread »
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BB code is On
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code is On
HTML code is Off
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Forum Rules
Forum Jump
User Control Panel Private Messages Subscriptions Who's Online Search Forums Forums Home Discussion Forum Guidelines Topics Around the Campfire KCA - Bobby and John Bownanza 2011 Equipment and Tuning Game Management/Age & Score/Trailcam Pics Traditional It's All About the Video D-I-Y Projects Photography Bowhunting Reports Bownanza 2010 Recipes History/Traditions John "Tuthdoc" Lee Threads TEST Forum Rate the Day Lease Public Hunting Opportunities 3D/Tournament
All times are GMT -5. The time now is 10:44 PM.
-- Fixed -- Wide Contact Us - Texasbowhunter.com - Archive - Top
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.1
Copyright ©2000 - 2011, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Copyright 1999-2011, TexasBowhunter.com
Around the Campfire
Equipment and Tuning
Game Management
Traditional
Bowhunting Videos
D-I-Y Projects
Photography
Bowhunting Reports
Classifieds
Bownanza 2011
Recipes
Rate the Day Lease
Public Hunting
3D Tournament
KCA-Bobby and John
Private Messages
User CP
Calendar
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FAQ
Forum Rules
Texas Bowhunter's Journal
Shop
Predator Camo
Supporting Membership
History/Traditions
Contact Us
.
