Way O.T. - So if you had to choose...........

[Joe (IN)]

OK, so week before last my buddy and I rode out to Sturgis. There was a death in the family soon after we got home and I hadn't been able to get the bike back out of the garage since. This evening, I decided to take her out for a putt to warm her up before I changed the oil and gave her a much-needed bath and polish. It had just gotten dark when I rolled up the street after the ride. As I approached the driveway, I saw movement. It took two precious seconds to realize what it was. The idiot dog. Let out without the leash by my idiot wife. And for reasons that make sense only to that mindless fleabag, he was running full tilt head on right for me. By then I was in the gravel drive. Sudden braking in gravel on an 800 lb. Harley moving at 20 MPH is a bad deal.

Two busted turn signals, one obliterated mirror, two scraped up mufflers, a bent brake lever and one twisted brake pedal, a crunched air filter, one thrashed handgrip (just installed the night before I left), a twisted and scratched fender, and a tear in the leather seat. I'm bleeding from every limb, my elbow looks like hamburger, my leg is burnt, and I tore my favorite jeans. And to add insult to injury, the samich and 6 pack of Lite I picked up for my dinner is scattered across the driveway. Brother Ray and I covered 2700 safe, trouble-free miles in a week and then I crack her up after a 15 minute putt because of a brain damaged mutt.

And the point of this little tirade: a question.

Do I kill the dog for being so stupid that he's dangerous or do I off the old lady for being stupid enough to not put him inside when she could hear me coming a mile from the house? Does it influence your opinion if I mention that she checked to see if the dog was OK before she checked on me? God, I miss being single.

 

[arthur ward]

since what seperates humans from animals is the fact that we can reason...i will put it like this:

wife first then dog? or dog then wife?

it obviously doesn't make a bit of difference, does it?

if my dog made me spill my wide glide i would absolutely rip the dog apart.

 

[Bobtail TN]

Rollin on the floor laffin my butt off !!!!!!

Shoot them both...collect the wife's insurance and buy a new bike & a parakeet !!!

 

[souNdguy]

You can train the dog...

My wifw has backed into our front gate so many times that the people at TSC know me and what i want by the look on my face. Seriously. She just did it again a few weeks ago. i told her if it happened again I was taking a hammer to her rear view mirrors and side view mirrors as she obviously don't need them!

good luck.. hope you get to feeling better... hope the rides ok.

Soundguy

 

[Dave (Tx)]

"Do I kill the dog for being so stupid that he's dangerous or do I off the old lady for being stupid enough to not put him inside when she could hear me coming a mile from the house?"

Those are not mutually exclusive. You CAN do both.....

BTW what kind of Harley do you own? I've got an 83 FXR.

 

[Sean (TX)]

I did that on a dirt bike. Not my dog...Died with in minutes. Me bad case of road rash... Dumb dog!!

 

[Dan]

"...Let out without the leash by my idiot wife..."

Joe - far be it for me to tell you how to view your wife - but just remember - you married her...

Dan

 

[Bruce (VA)]

A dog does what a dog does because he is a dog & doesn't know any better. The wife, on the other hand.........

 

[Leemo]

Being accustomed to Harleys on gravel, dogs(I have three) and have been married to the same "idiot wife" for 35 years I feel somewhat qualified to discuss this. I've considered all the above mentioned options in depth at one time or another and reached some conclusions. 1) the idiot dog can be trained to stay away from the Harley. If conventional dog training methods don't work a size 14 riding boot applied to the snout in a firm but not injurious manner seems to do the trick. 2) offing the OL, although a seemingly wonderful idea at times to resolve issues, can only result in other issues that will prevent the off-er from riding his beloved Harley for an extremely long time if ever again. 3) Harleys on gravel are controllable but just barely. Stopping one quickly requires cat-like reflexes and a ground speed of no more than 15 mph. Applying the brakes will undoubtedly cause a puckering of certain body parts and loss of traction to the two small portions of each tire that actually contact the road. This is where the wearing of heavy boots is important. The only way to avoid dropping ones beloved Harley as well as ones self is to immediately after applying the brakes and losing traction place said heavy boots on the ground and hang on. It seems to help with the process if one mutters numerous expletives at this point and does everything possible to keep above mentioned heavy boots and all other body parts away from the underside of the beloved Harley. 4) Cold beer, sometimes in massive quantities, will assist in calming ones nerves after an episode as descibed above.
Keep the shiny side up, Lee

 

[Anonymous-0]

Do the world a favor and make sure you and Mrs Joe(IN) never have children.

lol

 

[Joe (IN)]

She's an '03 Lowrider. I've had her longer than the dog and the wife.

 

[Joe (IN)]

Uh, yeah. Thanks for reminding me. Even a normally careful and prudent individual such as myself has a weak moment from time to time.

 

[Ramrod]

For Better or Worse, Richer or Poorer...

Sound familiar? You can kill (and eat) the dog, but you are stuck with the wife, and you knew that job was dangerous when you said 'I do'. Get the wife in a MSF course, get her a cheap bike to ride and learn on, and work her up to a Harley. Ride with her, she is your best and most loyal friend.

...and get a smaller dog, name him 'Speed Bump'.

____________________

Ramrod
James 1:19

 

[Joe (IN)]

Thanks for the laughs and sympathies, guys. I'm pretty much scabbed over and I got the bike cleaned up. Parts will be here next week and she'll be right as rain by next weekend. I guess it's just a good way to justify spending the cash on a few "upgrades" I've been lusting for. I just wish it wasn't cutting into my tractor seat time and slush fund. The whole family has been put on notice, though. If I catch the retarded dog out without a leash again, they best not ask what happened to it when it disappears.

 

[Dunk]

Leather has saved my but before.

So, according to what you decide, you might want to tan the hide.

 

[RJ]

If I had a choice, I would not have grabbed that front brake on gravel! Your rear brake wont make you spill.

 

[Britcheflee]

I feel your pain - I have 3 bikes, a 1974 Moto Guzzi 850T - restored it myself - a Moto Guzzi V11 Sport Ballabio - a truly beautiful bike to ride and a KZ650B which I got for free as it was about to go to the dump and I spent far too much time and money getting it going again - it still has a misfire when you start off at low rpm and my last resort is to check valve shim gaps.

I have to ride along a gravel/dirt road to my house and I putt putt along very very slowly - my buddy who has taken a police riding course said that they train on gravel until you feel comfortable stopping quickly and safely on it - but I still just ride putt putt on it!!!!
Dog was just happy to see you and probably loves you!!! It does not know any better - give it a scratch and bit of love.....the time will come when he has to go and every dog I had which died I missed and was very sad when that time came.

Lee