What would you do, how would you feel?????

[NCWayne]

Long story semi short. Dad and Mom divorced and Mom is now selling the house so she has been forced to downsize and sell a lot of things. That being the case they had a yard sell last weekend. Now Dad and I have been busting our butts trying to get 20 years worth of stuff inside and outside of the shop gone so we have been occupied nearly every day for the past two months. Personally I have been putting in 12, and sometimes 16 hour days trying to get everything done as well as keeping my business going and customers happy. Now with the way things were divided out Dad has nothing to do with anything at the house, beyond a few named items, and he and I have been busy getting the shop stuff moved as we can"t really expect anyone else to do it given they don"t know what is what, what belongs to who, etc, etc.....Not that anyone but two of my friends have helped us, or even offered to.....But that"s another story in itself....

So, while we"re busting butt on the shop stuff, several female family members showed up to help Mom out with the yard sale of the items from the house. Everything for sale had been marked and laid out on the tables, with a very few things inside of, and off to one side of, the garage. In other words beyond that one, small, marked area, the garage was off limits as there were still many things inside that were not for sale.

That said, at some point the family members somehow decided that the things that folks saw in the garage and wanted were all of a sudden up for sale too, whether they had been marked as such of not. That being the case Mom had some stuff sold that she didn"t really want sold. Thankfully it was easily replaceable stuff like wrapping paper, etc, etc. so she"s not really out anything there other than she really didn"t want to get rid of it. Thankfully she did happen to walk up and see a man holding my old, metal Tonka toys and a old metal truck that was my Dad"s when he was growing up. Mom promptly told him that stuff was not for sale and made him put it back. Unfortunately she didn"t catch everything.

Now the question part, or at least getting there. When I went over there this evening to take Mom some more boxes, and pick up some stuff that was mine, I went to get my first BB gun, given to me by my Grandpa and Grandma, and a quiver of old arrows that went with Grandpa"s bow. They had been hanging up high on the wall on the side of the garage that was off limits. (In other words it would have taken a deliberate effort to get to them due to their height, even with the yard sale stuff not setting inside) Unfortunately I looked up to discover they were gone. Mom then fessed up that they had gotten sold but she doesn"t have a clue who sold them, or who they were sold to. She didn"t notice it until the sale was over because they had to hurry and get things back inside to miss a rain storm, but that she had then been afraid to tell me what had happened.

Now my feelings on the matter. Basically I am thankful that the women were there to help Mom, but I have to say that"s the extent of that. Needless to say, as far as what was done, I am beyond livid that anyone would take it upon themselves to sell something that wasn"t theirs, wasn"t marked for sale, and wasn"t even in an area anyone at the sale should have been, and then know that the had then had to work to even get to the items. In other words it should have been blatantly obvious to anyone with half a brain that the items WERE NOT FOR SALE. Further they sold those items without consulting Mom, who would have told them that the items were off limits.

Now my sister basically said it was my fault for not getting the stuff already, but the day I asked for it the garage was so full of stuff there was no way to get to it without having everything destined for the yard sale set outside and out of the way, something I couldn"t do by myself. That being the case Mom said the stuff was safe where it was and I could get it later.

Now I"m not mad at Mom, but I am ready to let the person that sold my stuff have it with both barrels and then reload and let them have it again, and again, until I need to go to the store and buy some more......Like I said, livid still doesn"t even begin to describe my disposition at the moment, and I found this all out nearly 6 hours ago.......To who ever sold my stuff, it meant absolutely nothing, but to me they were things that can NEVER be replaced. Things that brought back memories of my childhood, and my Grandpa and Grandma. Basically the sentimental value of the items was far higher than any amount of money could ever buy....and it probably got sold for a few dollars.....Makes me sick just to think about it.........Call it what you will, give an excuse for what happened, do or say anything to try to make me "feel good" but I know I will never forgive the person who sold my keep sakes.

Ok, I"m just about to the acceptance stage of things, still being livid aside, but I know if I ever find out who sold it I am going to go ballistic and probably burn bridges with at least part of the family on Mom"s side.....not that I really care given the way they have treated my family over the years.....(not going to get into that)........

Ok, sorry, this was a lot longer than I intended when I said "long story semi short", but I know if I don"t keep venting I am going explode and start knocking on doors and burning bridges, tonight, before I cool down.....and I am trying my best to cool down but finding it hard to do so every time I think about what was taken from me by someone who went above and beyond to sell something they had no attachment to, and care absolutely nothing about.....Yes, I am still pi$$ed, livid, angry, etc, etc... Call it what you will and the feeling still won"t be adequate.......

My one, small thing that I do have going for me is that, thankfully, they can"t take my memories. Still that is a small consolation when I know I will not have things I wanted to pass on to my children and grandchildren when the time comes because of someone"s ignorance.....

Thanks for listening....

Now I"ve got to ask, how would you feel if this had happened to you?

 

[Clodbuster]

I would feel about the same, most of us would. When you have many folks helping at a sale like that, those things can and will happen.

Sorry about the whole divorce situation and that is also not easy on anyone involved.

Count to 100 and cool off before you unload on someone that was just there to help your mom. That will hurt your mom, too.

Yes, in most ways this was your fault for not taking your childhood possessions to your own home long ago if you have your own place. I know 50 year old folks that still have their stuff/junk stored at their parents' place and will not move it to their own place and expect the folks to care for it forever. I also know of parents that have moved away to let the kid and spouse live in the family home but will not move their own stuff but want the kids to keep everything exactly as it was when they lived there. Neither situation is fair or right.

 

[Anonymous-0]

Sounds like the whole thing was rushed without enough planning. Sorry but your Mom has to bare A LOT of the blame. I'd be pizzed too and I do know how you feel. My first motorcycle(classic 1976 XR75 bought new)was stolen just before I moved. I talked to the town police who even said they caught a kid on a stolen motorcycle in the same area. Unfortunately, this branch of the police department didn't deal with issues outside the town and said I needed to go to the main police department in the bigger city. The cops rotated between locations and I even had a file number and name of the officer that caught the kid. Never even got so much as a phone call regarding the file. I didn't have the serial number for the bike but it did have some very distinguishing features on it that could easily identify it. The Honda shop that sold it could also recognize it as mine.

 

[oldtanker]

The only thing to me that was important was one of my dad's tractors. I spent a lot of time and effort getting it moved inside a building (had to mod the building to get it in). Mom and dad both knew this. When dad passed I talked to mom and made sure she knew I wanted that tractor. By the time I retired from the Army in 96 she had sold it. Just so she could send money to her favorite grandkid who has been charged with a crime, convicted and served time and now is currently wanted for a parole violation. Good job mom!

So don't be afraid to call a spade a spade. if something was done wrong they know. And once they hit that point just watch then try to buy their way into heaven! Loved my mom but I will never forget what she did to me.

Rick

 

[MarkB_MI]

Yes, if it were me I'd be fuming mad, too. But you gotta let it go. Your mom has enough problems already.

After my dad died, my mom sold the family business to my brother. After about 15 years, he couldn't keep it going and sold everything at auction. When I heard about the sale, I told my brother I wanted to buy his anvil, which had been in the family for over 80 years. Instead of letting me buy it up front, he went ahead and put it on the auction. I ended up bidding against a farrier; once bidding went north of $300 I realized I wasn't buying that anvil at ANY price and let it go. I was mad about it at the time, but realize now that it's all just STUFF.

 

[redforlife]

I can understand your feelings. I was suppose to get (at the time my grandma passed away) my grandpa's pocket watch that his dad gave him when he was a teenager. All family members knew this. I didn't get it. It was stolen by someone within the family. I am the oldest son, of the oldest son, of the oldest son of my great grandfather. If there was anybody that should of been in line to have it, it should of been me. But no, it got stolen so I didn't end up with it. Will you ever get over being mad? Probly not. Only advice I can give ya is, ya just gota let it go. Nothing you can do about it now to make things any better at all. I don't know what else to tell ya.

 

[Fergienewbee]

After my dad died, my sister was in a big hurry to get the house cleaned out. She lives five miles away; me 45 miles. I went a couple of times a week to sort stuff. One weekend they had a garage sale. Never even told me until it was over. Her kids got stuff before I had a chance at it. Thought we were selling everything and splitting the proceeds with my brother, her and I. Didn't work that way. Not worth raising a stink about, but it wasn't right.

Learned from my brother a few months later they had the house on the market and listed. Never contacted me. The house sold in a few days and we got a check the day after they closed. I don't know why they were so secretive about everything. We haven't been close in years; this sure hasn't helped. Water under the bridge.

Larry

 

[farmerwithmutt]

Same thing here my folks took everthing my aunt has before she went into a nursing home (they had forced a sale of her farm and she was in the early stages of alzhimers) but to me none of that mattered . what matered was one day her mind cleared and she looked at me and said that she knew that somebody was causing trouble for her and i stopped it. i was able to retrive some iteams that made her last years a little happier .the other time is with my folks there was some things like aeral photos of the farm i would have liked to have but my sanity was worth more then anything besides that the person that got everything just blew it all borrowed more money blew that and now is more worthless than before . and a final note on my aunt her final resting place is well taken care of the greedy one is not

 

[Bruce from Can.]

So if you are a fully growen man , why do you still have toy trucks at mama's house , or anything else for that matter. Sorry about your folks split up , and I hope you can stay on good terms with both of them. Both my wifes folks and my folks pasted away before we turned 50. It seems hard for me to imagin being dependent on my parents for anything, as we where, my wife and I , on our own from 21. Bruce

 

[Doversix]

Grow up already

 

[gene bender]

Question why post family problems on a tractor discussion site

 

[JF in MI]

This is all too common. Am seeing that right now since my MIL passed away. Been working like crazy cleaning out the estate and one SIL (executrix) was PO'd that another brother and sister only came to clean up stuff that was "theirs" in the will. Other stuff mysteriously wound up "missing". The true colors of family members come out at a time like this and it has unfortunately spawned some deep seeded hatered. It's just the way it is. (I got a good laugh because some family members are PO'd because I'm the only non-blood relative mentioned in the will)

 

[Spook]

It's over. Nothing you can do. If that stuff was that important to you, why was it left at mom's? I left home at 18, never went back. My parents gave me some stuff over the years, but that was long ago, just after I bought my own home. You should have told her to sell it. Sounds like she needs the money, maybe that's what her friends are seeing and you don't?


Btw, grow up.

 

[Ultradog MN]

Ever notice all of those storage garages that have sprouted up all over the country?
There are some real big ones here - like hundreds of lockers of different sizes.
I think about those sometimes when I drive by them and wonder why Americans have so much stuff that they fill their homes and garages and shops and then have to rent those lockers to contain it all.
Owning it all is actually somewhat of a burden on you in life - having to keep track of it all and keep it covered and safe from theives.
I suspect you will have other stuff soon enough and will get over this loss.
And you might not have to spend $125/month for a 10'X10'X10' storage locker if you start now to realize the futility of being so acquisitive.

 

[Traditional Farmer]

The first time you heard the word 'divorce' you should have went straight over and got your stuff.

 

[Dick2]

Is it really worth it to stir up trouble when times are already troubled for your folks?

You should have been smart enough to have anything of yours removed when you knew things would be split up.

When I left home, I considered anything that I left behind as being the property of my brother who had taken over the family farm. Never even thought about trying to claim any of it back.

I did take 2 of Dad's guns after he passed away. I later had my brother take those guns and deliver them to Dad's great grandson as keepsakes.

 

[JRSutton]

Yeah, it's unfortunate.

I put a lot of value on some of my grandfathers/great grandfather's stuff that I had handed down to me.

It's nice to have, but - you know, I'd really be just as happy in this world without it.

I've got my grandfather's tackle box - he gave it to my father, who in turn gave it to me. It means a lot to me because I'm a fisherman. I've used it my entire life. But my kids aren't into fishing - at all. They don't even want it.

It means nothing to them.

It'll probably end up in the trash when I'm dead and buried. And really - so what?

Let them know you're mad - yell at somebody if need be - but then let it go.

Your stuff's gone, but even if it weren't - I'd tell you to remember that YOUR memories associated with those items won't transfer along with them to your kids - don't expect them to.

Memories are not attached to those items for anybody but you.

Instead of hoping to pass them along, focus on making good memories with your own kids.

THOSE will be much, much MUCH more valuable to them than a few hand-me-down keepsakes that meant a lot to you.

Let them decide later in life what items remind them of the good times they had with you.

You might be surprised to find the old bb gun and arrows meant nothing to them - where some tools or a book or who knows-what DO.

 

[jimg.allentown]

These items were so important that they were hung up in the garage for however long, and not thought about for how long? But not important enough to take home with you.....????
And now you have to vent on a tractor forum???
Get over it, and I sincerely hope that this thread gets {{{{poofed}}}}

 

[ericlb]

i learned the same lesson myself when my parents were still alive, i neglected to get my childhood stuff i wanted aas well as some other items like a box full of car stereos, some were out of wrecked cars, some i bought new on sale, i was into cars at the time and you never knew when you might need one or sell one to somebody anyway i was using the old mans place as my storage depot, one day he decided to lighten his load and sold everything dime on a dollar, including a spare engine i had out of a wrecked 1970 corvette! if i remember right he got 100 bucks for that, made me mad for a time, but really like othere mentioned i should have got my stuff off his place long ago if i wanted it to have

 

[mkirsch]

These guys who are acting all holier than thou and beating you up would be the ones screeching the LOUDEST if something of theirs got sold out from under them.

 

[Dick2]

BTW, I learned in a seminar once that you have a choice to get mad - or NOT to get mad.

Your "stuff" is gone and getting mad won't bring it back. Your getting mad is going to hurt you more than it will hurt anyone else.

You got too complacent leaving stuff in that garage. The only person that you should be mad at is yourself.

 

[Mark - IN.]

No body's perfect except for me, and as unfortunate as it is, I can't be everywhere at once, and when I'm not everywhere at once, bad things happen because I'm not there to oversee and orchastrate the happenings to my likings. I sure hope my family doesn't allow their inadequacies and incompetencies to overlap into holidays or anything else, because I really hate cooking turkeys that I have to eat all by myself.

Mark

 

[fixerupper]

Wow, you're getting beat up when you just need someone to vent to. You have been busy with your customers, busy enough to take your mind away from some childhood memoirs in the shop until it's too late. Sorry to hear you lost them. I'd be mad too. Jim

 

[DaninKansas]

If all you lost was a BB gun and a bow and arrows count yourself lucky.


When my dad died the week I graduated from highschool all I got was told to leave and my older brothers claimed a coupled hundred thousand worth of farm equipment.

 

[Massey farmer]

Something"s got to be wrong, the last couple of weeks I"ve
agreed with everything you"ve said, including this.

 

[Billy NY]

Wayne, I can tell you, that its easy for an outsider to give advice, but I have seen some really nasty situations over material items and members of a family. Everyone has their keepsakes and some cling to them as if it were life itself.

I can also understand, having experienced or seen this so many times, its actually incredible when I think about how much trouble these kinds of situations can cause, as well as the person, you, in this case, those things manifest and embed themselves into your person, these material items, and its gut wrenching at first, from feeling insulted, robbed, disrespected, inconsiderate by another family members thoughtlessness. There is also regret, because looking back you wish you secured these said items before any of this happened. I would not be much different, more so when I was younger, having an appreciation for older items, antiques and things with meaning such as the items you lost in this situation.

You're a smart hardworking guy, and we only know you from your participation here, and although you may get lengthy at times, (like I haven't- there"s a few short novels of mine spread out here somewhere, usually only when I have time or the weather is bad) and that says something about you, that you take the time to write, and or in life probably taking the time to do things right, correctly, the best you can do, with pride in what you do, that's an admirable trait, well in my book it is !

You should consider that none of these material items are worth a darn when thinking of the bigger picture, and the older I get, the more I realized that if I were gone tomorrow, none of this, or these things matter at all. I've got plenty of various things, family keepsakes in the same class as what you lost, my tools and power equipment, and how many other things I am truly thankful to have that make my life a bit easier. If it was gone tomorrow, I would have to accept the situation, dig in real deep with faith, that I can start over and before you know it, things will be better, its getting over that hump that is the toughest thing to do and many have a lot of trouble with it. Additionally, with family keepsakes, and with what I have stated here, I am in no way trying to suggest these things are minimal or less than desirable, it does hurt a person, I've lost various things over the years, some due to family, but I've retained some very important items, and have also found things that I once thought were lost, one, the only photo I have of myself and my grandmother, when my parents were divorced in high school, I was involved in sports and military activities, as I went to an JROTC school, and though she was elderly then, did not like to drive at night, she was a tough woman who got things done and she got me to my sophmore drill competition, which I won and received a ribbon for, someone was kind enough to take a polaroid of us. The photo was in her curio cabinet, and when her place was ransacked by the vultures of the family when she moved and the place was in transition, it was taken, yet it only meant something to me and her, she was in the beginning of dementia, years later, while visiting at my aunts house in California, I saw a photo she had, with the interior of my grandmothers house, and guess what, I could see that photo on display in the curio cabinet!!! I'm like that's the photo, that's the photo !!!! A photo in a photo, I would have gladly been happy with a copy of that, even though it was obscure. Many years later, another of our families houses was in transition, the house I grew up in, was not being sold but my mother decided to buy it back and live there, the place was packed with things, and a 30 yard container was delivered. I got involved and put a stop to it before anything was touched or moved. I made it abundantly clear that nothing is to be touched, nothing goes in that container unless my eyes see it first. Well low and behold, a few boxes in, what do I find, that photo, just haphazardly placed in a box by someone it meant nothing to, and it would have been discarded, it is one of the small treasures I have amongst others that I found, I had to put my foot down hard and I could have caused a huge ruckus by doing so, but I knew what I was doing was the right thing to do without hesitation.

At this point in my life I realize that although I have some things with this kind of meaning, they are worthless to anyone but me. I don't really have anyone to leave anything to, well I have one good candidate to consider and I'm still young enough at this point that it could change, but when thinking about it, these material things, even the ones with high intrinsic value, are worthless in comparison to the bigger picture, all of it could be gone tomorrow, am I going to let that change me?

Give it some thought, see if you can accept what is, I bet with some time, you will see the value in that, I have and I feel better for it, these darned things will own you if you let them and I don't like any rope around my neck with anything in life, and you can't take a speck of any of it with you!

You may be able to put an ad in CL, elsewhere, stating some items were sold in mistake, its not been long, have some faith, I thought that photo was gone for good, it turned up and I think for a reason. If nothing comes of your effort, give yourself credit for trying, then move on, accept what is, be the person you are, not the one with a lanyard to a stack of material items that trouble you, you will feel better without the tether.

I still have an interest in useful things, antiques and what not, that I find on CL, and so many of them have great stories behind them, when the time comes I would enjoy selling all of it off, telling the stories of the items, and knowing someone else will enjoy the use of or display of etc. I've accepted long ago that this day will eventually come, so embrace it and make the best of it. Sure its not been passed down by a relative, but so what the content is the same and the character is the same, it gives the same effect, and I can go out every single day and find items like that if I want, seldom do I do so, I have plenty, but there is satisfaction with it.

These things are not easy, I wish you the best, its something that I have seen that have destroyed families, these kinds of items and is why I responded to your post.

Good luck with your resolution and maintaining your composure in difficult times, its never easy, but always worth it !

 

[dr sportster]

Anything left at the parents house once you move out and are an adult is fair game for garage sales. If it wasn't we would all have the cool stuff from our childhoods. We would have Roth Revell model kits, BB guns ,Bows and Arrows ,pedal cars the list goes on and on. You want to blast the person that was helping at the sale with a shotgun several times. Guess what your fault for not retrieving your cool stuff years ago. I myself go into garages at sales to look for stuff that may not be put out or thought of as valuable to the peolpe . If not I wouldn't have a den full of old oil cans. Whoever sold it was trying to make money for the sale. You can't blame them .If it was so valued wouldn't you have kept it already.

 

[dr sportster]

Well that's true too . I wish I was smart enough to see what Mom was going to sell at the fiirst garage sale. I have seen ads in the paper asking for stuff back from sales that was not meant to be sold. I can't imagine them having any luck with that.

 

[dr sportster]

Busy with customers ,busy with working long days busy posting twelve paragraph rants on the computerDoh.

 

[Alan K]

How true, especially the "Memories are not attached to those items for anybody but you" Sometimes Im guessing that is why it is harder for people to understand the attachment to something. I will add...sometimes it is in the giving or passing it to someone else, and doesn't always have to be a relative. It is the idea that someone thinks enough of you or your character to pass something to you that means something to them.

 

[Mike M]

Wayne; I see someone already suggested placing an Ad and explain best you can that things were sold that were not to be. Maybe offer a reward ?
Worth a try.

I also have some of these same issues with my stuff, Dads stuff , and who actually bought what and stuff I still have left at my parents place.
I did get a lot of it moved to my place with Dads cooperation. I hope I got all the good stuff ! LOL. Dad had a stroke a few years back. As he gets better some of the items have gone back to his place so he can keep puttering around.
I'm sure I will get mad when things disappear or get sold out from under me, but in the end I can only blame myself for not getting this stuff sorted out NOW ! Same old problems for me too. Not enough time. Not enough buildings. Not enough money to build bigger buildings. etc. etc.

 

[ditchwitch]

It sounds like you no who sold your stuff that wasnt supposed to be sold. The question i would be asking myself is.
1.was this a family member Mother side/father side,because it does matter believe it or not..
2. what is the your personal relationship with this person/family member friend or Foe..
3.did this person/family member do it intentionally
4.If you find out these questions to be it was a person/family member either side and you relationship was in good standings ,i would think it was a Honest mistake and keep your memories close.
5,if you find out this was a person/family member your not in good standings with and they did it with Spite. I would just stomp there A--S....

Sorry for your loose been there done that..

 

[slim]

At this point it doesn't matter who is right or who is wrong. What's done is done. Now it's time for you to decide if you want a future relationship with these people. If you do you will just have to put this behind you and move on. Because if you go ahead and blast them with both barrels as you said and then reload, you are not going to have a future relationship. At least not a nice one.

Just something to ponder.

slim

 

[Nancy Howell]

When James and his first wife divorced, she did the same thing. She sold a WWII carbine that belonged to James' dad and she sold his .357. She also got rid of his dog.

If it were me, I would write a long letter to all involved other than your mother expressing your feelings and how hurt you are that treasured items that they knew were not theirs to sell have been taken from you, your children and grandchildren forever.

 

[Cas]

Similar thing happened to me when my mother died. My brother and sisterinlaw decided to become thieves.
Mentally, I had to let it go or I would have murdered two people. Reading the bible helped a lot. Also, I kept telling myself yesterdays gone and I might only have today.
Today, I put very little value on material things. And, in the long run I am much happier and look at life with a lot lighter attitude.
Also, as I have found things that were lost I buy some even though there not the originals.
Changing your attitude will not happen right asway; just hang in there and wear life like a loose cloth.
In my case, I was in a farm accident a year after my mother died. Long story short I was in a coma for 3 weeks. That was a real attitude changer.

 

[Dave H (MI)]

Yeah, I don't know about that. Give them a nice teary letter they can gossip and titter over. Ultimately, it's an old rifle and arrows and not what is really important in life. Cherish Mom and remember in the future to keep a close eye on the others. Don't go around crying about your feelings, just move on.

 

[1130Leo]

I had similar issues when my dad died, he was the last one to go, suddenly everything that was promised for over 40 years disappeared, other items were sold for pennies, It all ended up with me no longer having a family at all, dis owned every one of them, ended up realizing i have never been happier, you can't choose your family, but you can dis own them and move on. Big revelation, family sucks....

 

[JRSutton]

Absolutely - and I'm not trying to say the stuff wouldn't have mattered to anybody else - of course it'd be better to have not had it sold off. But it was, and it's not worth getting TOO upset about it.

...
all I can think about here is the scene in Pulp Fiction where Bruce Willis's girlfriend forgets to take his watch. : ) Love that scene - when he's in his car screaming about it.

From the way the original post was written, it sounded to me like the most important loss was that of the legacy of seeing the stuff handed on down the line. I really think stuff like that, even though very important to one individual, becomes more of an interesting trinket to the next generations.

Yeah it'd have been nice, but they'll be no WORSE off without it.

That future generation will develop their own little keepsakes that bring back happy memories for them. That's the most important thing to keep in mind.

 

[Rick Kr]

This shows what sentimental value means. Probably an old BB gun worth $5 or less. But to you its priceless as it was your fathers/grandfathers, etc.

I have lots of things that have value of zero dollars. But knowing they were my great grandparents items passed down to me, makes them worth a million.

Rick

 

[El Toro]

I told my mom in the late 1980's to put my sister's name on the deed on the house they bought when they quit farming in the 1950's.

My brother's fifth wife had her eye on it. She even stopped by and asked her to will it to my brother. She wasn't too happy when she left. My sister inherited it when mom died. Hal

 

[paul]

That happens far too often, and families get so complicated so quickly.

A person has to sit down and sort out their stuff when they can, as soon as they can, not put it off.

I understand you tried, but we are where we are, you didnt get your stuff and it disappeared.

It sucks but a person has to move on. You are not the first nor the last to have this sort so stuff happen to. And we have to admit in the end, it is a little bit our own fault for not getting stuff sorted out ourselves on time...... Probably what makes us so mad, want to take it out on the other people, but we know deep down it was our own screw up for putting things off.....

I see you have a follow up above, maybe I shoulda read that before replying here.

Paul

 

[ss55]

I know how you feel. Dad had a policy: once I was out of his house for a few years, anything I wanted to keep needed to go with me. He was right.

At the same time, you can't keep it all. Moving was an excellent time for me to sort out my old stuff. Tools was the worst to sort, but the ones I rarely used sold easily for good prices. By the time I started boxing stuff up, paying for moving and paying for storage, I realized I didn't want to keep a lot of it anymore. Stuff that was precious before became a burden. By the end I was OK with selling, donating, giving stuff away, throwing stuff in the trash, and sending stuff to auction just to get rid of some of it.

It's easy to resent someone for getting rid of some your old stuff, but you will need to do it sometime. It's better to take care of things like that yourself, than to wait until someone else has to do it for you.

 

[Unruh]

I got a diagnosis of pancreatic cancer and was given anywhere from one to nine months to live. It changed my whole perspective of value on every thing and money that I owned. Soon it will be owned by someone else.
I resolved to: hold no grudges against anyone; absolutely forgive everyone for everything; be generous with possessions - for their value is nothing to me. Be especially loving to my "survivors"! Be sure of my peace with God, and I'm ready to go any time.

 

[W_B]

(quoted from post at 17:32:02 05/20/14) I told my mom in the late 1980's to put my sister's name on the deed on the house they bought when they quit farming in the 1950's. My brother's fifth wife had her eye on it. She even stopped by and asked her to will it to my brother. She wasn't too happy when she left. My sister inherited it when mom died. Hal

A good friend's mother died suddenly and her Dad no longer wanted the car that Mom drove, a new at the time Olds Alero (I think it was), nice car in a dark blue, leather interior and was loaded up. My friend was charged with selling it. Her money grubbing sister-in-law wanted it in the worst way but my friend said her mother absolutely despised that daughter-in-law and her mother would haunt her forever if she sold her that car. Of course money grubber wanted it cheap, but my friend needed all she could get from it to take care of her Dad who was failing fast. She ended up selling it to someone out of state for a good price. Still don't think her and her sister-in-law are talking and she never did tell her why she wouldn't sell it to her!

When my Dad's father died rather suddenly the cousins and one uncle who lived near him swooped in on the place and pretty much cleaned it out, all of Grandpa's tools, his car, guns and lots of keepsake things. My aunt called me in tears the day they were there that they were like a flock of buzzards and if there was anything I wanted I needed to get there. Loaded up the wife and two hours later we were there. My aunt had put some things back for us of the antique variety she thought we would like, otherwise what was left was of no sentimental or economic value. Always appreciated she did that for us, I was pretty close to my grandparents. One thing the buzzards couldn't figure out was what happened to the "turkey shoot" gun as they called it, an older double barrel 20 ga. with full choke on both barrels. Turns out my grandfather had given it to my Dad, plus some other things, on his last visit before he passed. Dad gave it to me and I still have it. Sometimes things do work out.

 

[Howard H.]

That is a very noble attitude!

Best of luck, Unruh - to you and your family!


Howard